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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29506335">rule one of gambling: hearts are off the table</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Lost in Translation (Webcomic)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Porn, COVID-19, Cybersex, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Foursome - M/M/M/M, Friends With Benefits, Heartbreak, K-Pop as an Industry, Lingerie, M/M, Masturbation, Masturbation in Shower, Modeling, Morally Grey Mr. Park | CEO, Mutual Pining, OT4, Oblivious, Oral Sex, Parallels, Pining, Polyamory, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Revenge, Revenge Sex, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Sloppy Seconds, Smut, Spitroasting, Threesome - M/M/M, Vibrators, cute cats, jjolee supremacy, oh my jjolee they were roommates, the only spanking is with the whump stick, way too many metaphors</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:07:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>34,069</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29506335</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When COVID scares lead HCE to making MAYHEM move into a dorm and an abrupt stop to Wyld’s scandals, Jaewon isn’t sure what to feel. But like anything where Wyld’s reputation is involved, it gets... messy.<br/>34,069 words exactly for the og 34&lt;3</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ahn Jaewon | Wyld &amp; Junsu, Ahn Jaewon | Wyld/Junsu, Ahn Jaewon | Wyld/Kang Dongho | D.Min, Ahn Jaewon | Wyld/Kang Dongho | D.Min/Kim Daehyun/Lee Minsoo, Ahn Jaewon | Wyld/Kim Daehyun, Ahn Jaewon | Wyld/Lee Minsoo, Kang Dongho | D.Min/Kim Daehyun, Kang Dongho | D.Min/Lee Minsoo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Anonymous, We're So Very Sorry Jjolee</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>rule one of gambling: hearts are off the table</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildforwyld/gifts">wildforwyld</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>did you know this fic started as a joke? oops :D</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“A dorm?” Jaewon blinks at Manager Choi. “Why now?”</p><p>“The spread of the virus is getting… really bad. They’re talking about a national quarantine, and CEO Park decided it would be better to make content and ensure we can keep track of your health.” Manager Choi doesn’t look up from his phone. “You’re expected to move in tonight.” Jaewon frowns. A dorm? He’s excited to spend time with the others but… what if they step in on his scandals without knowing? Or expect him to be a bad roommate?</p><p>“Ah... I- I see...”</p><p>“Yeah. That’s all, Wyld. I need to go speak to the others.” And with that, Manager Choi is gone.</p><p>Jaewon had to hold himself back from running to the CEO’s office. Mr. Park was surrounded by news articles and spreadsheets.</p><p>“Ah, Wyld. I didn’t hear you come in,” Mr. Park smiles at him. It’s a stressed, thin smile. Jaewon doesn’t think that he has seen that look on his face before. Ever. Ah, there’s going to be some serious economic problems, aren’t there? What are the odds of abusing Wyld’s image to make sure the debt doesn’t worsen? Well, that’s for another time. His primary concern is...</p><p>“Sorry to bother you, sir... it’s just... I heard about a… ah… a quarantine being possible? And that you wanted us to all move into a dorm? So I was wondering-“</p><p>“Your scandals will be put on hold for now. I will inform you when you’re in the clear to appear in nightclubs again,” Mr. Park frowns. “We’ll have to set up some digital singles or something. We have one or two that we might drop without a music video, we won't be able to afford one. Perhaps we’ll put off the comeback… but in terms of content we'll have nothing to show. Unless we were to open up side careers… but <em> what? </em> Now more than ever will people be consuming content and we need to ride on that but we can’t do a comeback now…”</p><p>Mr. Park is not really talking to him at this point. But still, Jaewon feels a stab of guilt. High Class Entertainment is not wealthy like SHC or XR. There isn’t a lot of money to go around. And he wasn’t even thinking about that, just his relationship with MAYHEM. And isn’t that selfish?</p><p>“Ah- thank you,” he bows slightly. Maybe he should leave?</p><p>“Dismissed,” Mr. Park waves him off, eyes still on the charts and spreadsheets with a million confusing words.</p><p>Jaewon makes himself scarce. In fact, he doesn’t think he’ll come back until he has an idea. But to do that… he’ll need to understand a lot more about money in a business than he does right now. </p><p>With new resolve, he walks out of the office. What if he just left Wyld behind? </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>It’s been several agonizing weeks since they moved in together. Boba and Jeongmin headed off to America and for the first time in years, he’s alone again. Well… he can’t exactly say <em>alone.</em> He’s painfully aware of how <em>not</em> <em>alone </em>he is. Like the deal with… self care.</p><p>The walls in this dorm are thinner than the ones he’s used to.</p><p>Dongho has been trying to minimize for some small shred of dignity’s sake. Minsoo and Daehyun don’t seem to have as many qualms about it. And it’s a point of pain for him to endure.</p><p>And-</p><p>He can’t deal with being attracted to the way his bandmates sound when they moan. He really can’t.</p><p>What he really doesn’t get is how Wyld seems to be handling all of this. </p><p>He hasn’t heard a single sound from him- not that he’s listening for them. But... he doesn’t see a shred of withdrawal or anything. Where has Wyld’s libido gone? </p><p>He knows Jaewon doesn’t sneak out. He’s been checking. And yes, Dongho <em> is </em> aware of how creepy that sounds.</p><p>It’s almost verging on insanity.</p><p>What does Wyld sound like when he touches himself? And <em> why </em>is Dongho so desperate to know?</p><p>He has a sinking feeling that he knows why.</p><p>And he really doesn’t want it to be the reason.</p><p>He has no reason to be attracted to Ahn Jaewon.</p><p>Jaewon, who’s washing the dishes in the sink, seems completely unaware of his plight. His eyes trace up his covered figure. His shape is softened by the thick hoodie and the jeans. But he gets a decent view of Jaewon’s thighs and the curve of his rear. And he <em> hates </em>how much he likes the view.</p><p>Dongho wants to blame it on the abstinence.</p><p>He isn’t quite sure if he gets to.</p><p>“You’ve thought about it too, huh?” Minsoo smirks, catching him watching across the room. He turns to look at him, unamused. </p><p>“What?”</p><p>“You’re curious about how Wyld sounds when he’s jerking off, aren’t you?” Minsoo leers. </p><p>And Dongho fucking <em> chokes. </em></p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I’ve been wondering too…” Daehyun admits shyly from his seat beside Jaewon. Of course these horny fucks would be curious about the libido of Wyld now that they get to see so much more of him.</p><p>“Let’s try something,” Minsoo grins. “Who can push him to doing it? To pleasuring himself so desperately that we can hear?” </p><p>That’s- </p><p>He scowls.</p><p>“Are you suggesting that we attempt to turn him on as a <em> game?” </em></p><p>“I mean, more of a challenge I guess,” Minsoo shrugs. “I want to know. And honestly… it’s not healthy to abstain like that. Honestly… if he keeps it up I don’t think it will be very comfortable for him. Ouch...”</p><p>“So what’s the way we plan on doing this?” Daehyun asks. “We can’t just tell him… that.”</p><p>“Start gentle, probably? Subtle flirting,” he suggests. “If we just start attempting to seduce him off the bat, wouldn’t he catch on?”</p><p>“I suppose,” Minsoo nods. Dongho really can <em> not </em>believe he’s doing this. But… an image of Jaewon appears in his mind’s eye, head thrown back and letting out a breathy, affected groan. Jaewon probably needs that right now. He… he feels like a total pervert.</p><p>But the mystery attracts him. Jaewon was supposed to groan in the backtrack for one of their b-sides at one point, wasn’t he? He recalls overhearing that the producer couldn’t play it without getting flustered and they’d had to scrap that version.</p><p>He still wants to know what that sounded like. Maybe that’s where all of this is coming from. Dongho could believe that.</p><p>“This’ll be kinda weird!” Daehyun laughs. “I’m sure Jaewon hyung will have a lot of fun laughing with us when it’s over. This… this isn’t going to hurt him, right? We don't want to hurt him.”</p><p>“I don’t… think so?” Dongho muses. “I don’t think he’s the type to take a joke like that so personally, even if it was a joke. It’s not. But… that is something we definitely need to consider. If he asks us to stop or looks even slightly upset, we have to call all of this off, okay?”</p><p>“That seems fair. All of us need to keep an eye on hyung,” Daehyun says seriously. “Ah… Jaewon hyung must be in pain but be trying so hard to be considerate or something…”</p><p>“Of course,” Minsoo nods. “This is for all of us- and I mean all <em> four </em>of us- to have fun and Jaewon to not have blue balls. Not to make fun of him or trivialize him. Are we clear?”</p><p>“Crystal.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Daehyun isn’t exactly sure what to do to help. He’s agreed, sure, but that doesn’t mean he has the slightest idea how to flirt.</p><p>He’s never really flirted with someone. And he doesn’t think he should ask Minyoung for advice on that…</p><p>Isn’t it just being friendly with extra feelings? He supposes that he could just look it up… but being touchy is okay, right? It’s probably like what they do for fanservice, he’d guess. Just being cuddly and sweet with each other.</p><p>Jaewon hyung is sitting with back to the couch, glasses on. He looks… quite cute like this. He’s right there, even though Daehyun had offered to sit up so he could sit on the couch with him. </p><p>Carefully, he reaches out, stroking Jaewon hyung’s hair. It’s… actually kind of soft. He knows that Jaewon hyung has to treat his hair the most because of the coloring, but the fact that it’s still so smooth is kind of nice. He smells like that strong eucalyptus shampoo the stylists tell them to use. </p><p>Jaewon hyung is reading a book about business. It has a very long title with far too many numbers on the cover to look remotely interesting. Is Jaewon hyung studying for something? Daehyun’s heard that’s a trend. Nevertheless, while he's not quite sure why Jaewon hyung is reading it, he’ll let Jaewon hyung read. And Daehyun does, toying softly with Jaewon hyung’s hair. After a while, his fingers brush against Jaewon hyung’s neck, and he turns to look at Daehyun with a confused expression.</p><p>“Ah… should I stop- am I making you uncomfortable?”</p><p>“It’s alright, Daehyunah, you can play with my hair,” Jaewon hyung laughs. He smiles.</p><p>“Mn, would you let me play with your hair all the time, hyungah?”</p><p>“I- If you want to, sure?” </p><p>He tries a little harder, burying his nose in Jaewon hyung’s neck. </p><p>“You smell good, hyung,” he compliments. Jaewon hyung chuckles a bit.</p><p>“Thanks, Daehyunah. You smell nice, too.”</p><p>Jaewon hyung looks at his book, and Daehyun only now realizes that his fingers are fidgeting with the edges of the pages. Is he nervous about something? Daehyun taps Jaewon hyung’s shoulder. </p><p>“Hey, hyung?”</p><p>“Yes, Daehyunah?” Jaewon hyung looks up, a bright but serene smile on his face. Daehyun presses forward a bit.</p><p>“You seem pretty happy, when things are calm like this. But sometimes you look worried out of the blue. Why?”</p><p>“I guess… I just don’t know how to fill the silences,” Jaewon hyung laughs. “What do I say? What do I do? I’m awkward, I suppose.”</p><p>It’s true that Jaewon hyung can give off that vibe… Daehyun wonders how he’s confident enough to flirt with girls at all.</p><p>“Don’t need to worry with me! You can be comfy with saying nothing at all,” he reassures. Honestly, if not for the fact that his face is half-buried in Jaewon hyung’s neck, he’d have forgotten that he’d intended to flirt at all. Right now he’s just… comfortable. Maybe that’s how flirting is supposed to work? He can see the tips of Jaewon hyung’s ears turn pink. So it <em> is </em>working a little!</p><p>“I- thank you, Daehyunah.”</p><p>A phone buzzes, making a little chirp noise. That’s definitely not his, so it must be Jaewon hyung’s phone. Daehyun can’t see the message, but he can see the sender.</p><p>Why is their CEO texting Jaewon hyung?</p><p>It’s rude to pry but…</p><p>“What’s going on?” Jaewon hyung stands up, closing the book. He only opens the message when it’s out of his sight. But he grins widely.</p><p>“The building is all cleaned up and ready to go! The cleaning company that Mr. Park hired took a while, so they must have done their jobs extremely well! I’ll bet there isn’t a speck of dust in there!”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“Yeah, I asked for someone to tell me when we could go back,” Jaewon hyung explains. Daehyun’s eyes widen.</p><p>“Wahhh, that’s so smart!”</p><p>“Thanks, Daehyunah.” Jaewon hyung smiles, ruffling his hair as he gets to his feet. Daehyun stands to join him.</p><p>“Can I come with you?”</p><p>“Where are you guys going?” A new voice by the doorway steals his attention. It’s Minsoo hyung and Dongho hyung.</p><p>“The company building is all clean!” Daehyun jumps in. Jaewon hyung just smiles fondly at him. Ah, he’s never really noticed that Jaewon hyung looks at him that way.</p><p>“Really? Lemme check,” Minsoo grabs the phone, sending a text. He reads what seems to be an immediate response and grins. “Awesome! We can go practice for our comeback then!”</p><p>“That sounds like a good idea,” Dongho hyung joins in. They’re taking away alone time with Jaewon hyung.</p><p>Daehyun pouts. Are they <em> that </em>competitive about this? It’s not even a game and the main point of all of this  is to make sure that Jaewon hyung is feeling okay!</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Oh, Jaewon!” Minsoo practically bounces over to where the red-haired member is walking. “Are you ready to get back to work?”</p><p>He can’t see Jaewon’s expression through the mask, but he laughs.</p><p>“I’m excited! It’s been so long cuz all the cleaning companies are super booked!”</p><p>“I can imagine,” Minsoo laughs, grabbing Jaewon’s hand. <em> Act casual, act casual- </em></p><p>“Let’s go.”</p><p><em> “Ooh, look at those four boys! Double dating, perhaps?” </em>There's a hushed female voice behind them. Is… is she talking about them?</p><p><em> “Ah, it’s so clear who the </em> attacker <em> and the </em> defender <em> is for both of those couples! I’ll bet it’s really something to see,” </em>a different voice responds. </p><p>
  <em> “Eh, you perv!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “That doe-eye one probably has a wild side for days. I’ll bet that guy with silver hair is used to walking around with a sore back and looots of little bruises! Landmarks from teeth!” </em>
</p><p>His eye twitches. Switches exist, you know! He looks at Jaewon, who is redder than his hair.</p><p>
  <em> “Oh, you!” </em>
</p><p>“S- should we tell them to stop talking so loudly? Or at least ask them to stop very politely?” He asks Jaewon. “You look uncomfortable.”</p><p>“That would be rude, I think,” Jaewon looks away, turning pink. “Maybe it’s best to just ignore them? It’s harmless, anyway… I was just surprised.” Minsoo laughs, nudging him with his elbow. Casual touches that can be seen as friendly are a perfect form of flirting to start off with, right? Compliments and friendly touching. That’s okay, he thinks.</p><p>“You’re such a sweetheart, geez. Are you planning on making me sick?”</p><p>It’s not like he’s lying or not being himself when he does it, Minsoo realizes. He’s actually just… being comfortable with Jaewon. It’s kind of nice.</p><p>“<em>Hyung,” </em>Jaewon whines with a laugh.</p><p>“Yah, are you two lovebirds talking like we aren’t here?” Daehyun leers. He pouts. Is Daehyun taking over his chance to ease in?</p><p>Obviously this flirting won’t be enough, but he’s gotta build a foundation here!</p><p>“Lovebirds?!” Jaewon’s eyes widen as his face flushes even darker. Daehyun cackles. </p><p>“You heard the girls behind us,” Dongho snorts. “If you do take him to bed, at least do it where I can’t hear this loud fucker.” Minsoo gasps. </p><p>“DONGHO!”</p><p>“And make sure that his voice is shot by the morning, too.” Dongho has a terrible grin in his voice. Jaewon turns an even darker shade. Minsoo hadn’t even known that was physically possible. He puts a hand on Jaewon’s shoulder. </p><p>“Are you okay?”</p><p>“He needs to be to make your back break,” Dongho teases again, but not without a careful eye of his own on Jaewon. Minsoo wants to elbow him. He knows that Dongho is playful but… he needs to be more careful! If Jaewon blushes any more he could faint!</p><p>Jaewon <em> chokes. </em></p><p>“D- Dongho hyung!”</p><p>
  <em> “Wait… did we misunderstand their relationship? I can’t hear what they’re saying but… I think the muscular guy is the one who takes the red-hair boy!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Weren’t you certain that red boy was a top?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Hmmmm… I might just take it back. There’s not a chance in hell that guy bottoms for any of those three.” </em>
</p><p>“Let’s just… run? Maybe?” Minsoo looks around. Dongho frowns so hard that Minsoo can see it in his eyes.</p><p>“Isn’t it suspicious to see a group of people in masks running?”</p><p>“Everyone is wearing a mask, let’s just get out of this situation,” Minsoo sighs. “If this keeps up all the blood is going to rush to Jaewon’s face and he’ll faint.”</p><p>“Imagine that! Fainting cuz you blushed too hard!” Daehyun giggles. “Okay.”</p><p>So they run, and Minsoo doesn’t let go of Jaewon’s hand all the way til they reach the building.</p><p>They finally stop, panting, by the doors. Dongho and Daehyun go in first, and he realizes that he’s left alone with Jaewon outside. </p><p>“Minsoo hyung?” Jaewon whispers from behind him. “Thank you.”</p><p>Jaewon let’s go of his hand to open the doors. Minsoo follows him as they catch up to the others in the practice room. </p><p>For a moment, his hand feels strangely empty. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Dance practice is… oddly fun. He thinks that he likes the new dynamic. Maybe it’s selfish, because he knows that they’re all better off financially when he appears like… well… that.</p><p>But he’s been doing his research and his name is already big enough for people to be attracted to him solely for his body so… maybe a ad campaign deal doesn’t sound like a bad idea? He’s got some ideas to present to Mr. Park to help ease the whole “lack of scandals” thing.</p><p>HCE can make it look like they’re just keeping him too busy to do anything out of line that way too.</p><p>It’s… a good idea, he thinks. It shouldn’t really cost them anything, in theory. And Wyld is a pretty big image. Bad reputation or not, there’s press to work with that a lot of media companies have been reaching out to HCE, even before there was much concern about the disease. </p><p>In fact, he thinks that everything has been… looking up, in the weirdest way.</p><p>The others are actually being… closer to him. Is this the rumored bond of cohabitation? It’s really nice. He takes a long sip of his drink. It’s been too long since he’s danced like this! It’s exhilarating. </p><p>Dongho reaches over to wipe something off of his lip with a little smile. It’s almost a smirk.</p><p>Had he spilled something?</p><p>He blinks at Dongho, waiting for some sort of explanation. Dongho gives him none. Though, he supposes he probably doesn’t need it. </p><p>“Be careful, there, Jaewon-ah. “If you keep looking at me like that, I’ll think you want me to kiss you,” Dongho chuckles. His voice is raspy with exhaustion. And Jaewon’s realizing that he’s... really cute.</p><p>“Ah, no, hyung,” Jaewon laughs. “I was just lost in thought.”</p><p>“About what?” Dongho smiles at him. And Jaewon smiles back.</p><p>“You’re really caring! Do you have a little brother or sister?”</p><p>Dongho’s face turns stony in an instant.</p><p>“I don’t have a family.”</p><p>Jaewon’s eyes widen- he hadn’t known- the moment between them shatters like glass.</p><p>“I’m so sorry- I shouldn’t have brought it up-“</p><p>“It’s fine,” Dongho tilts his head back with a laugh that borders on bitterness. “I’m going to get over them someday soon. They left me. So I left them.”</p><p>Wait… so they’re not dead?</p><p>Oh.</p><p>They’re <em> estranged. </em></p><p>He has just made a <em> very big mistake. </em></p><p>“It’s fine. They didn’t care about me or have any faith in my life decisions. They pushed and pushed so eventually I snapped,” Dongho laughs bitterly. “I dropped all their expectations of me and <em> ran. </em>I wanted to do music. My mother’s response was… not kind. It was a final straw, really. I was the second child to Solitech as it is,”</p><p>Jaewon’s eyes widen.</p><p>“Y- you ran away from home?”</p><p>“Yeah, I did,” Dongho sighs, low and deep. “I’m fine now. But… I wasn’t for a long time.”</p><p>“I’m sorry they did that to you,” Jaewon’s voice wobbles. “I’m so- I’m so <em> sorry.” </em></p><p>“Hey.” Dongho puts his hand on Jaewon’s shoulder. “I’m okay now. Or at least, I’m going to be. I’m not the only one here with issues. I’ll be okay. Just… thank you for listening.”</p><p>“We’re here for you, Dongho hyung,” Jaewon murmurs. “We care about you.”</p><p>Jaewon knows that what he should do is distract him. Direct it elsewhere. If Dongho has to associate so much with pain… maybe there’s some things that can be associated with friendship and happiness instead.</p><p>“Hey, hyung?” Jaewon puts his hand on Dongho’s arm. “Can you teach me about things like music and finances and business? I know you might want to leave all of that behind…”</p><p>“Sure,” Dongho smiles at him. “I can teach you. What do you want to know?”</p><p>“Show me,” Jaewon asks, daring to press forward.</p><p>Dongho takes him to an empty room, opens his laptop, and hits play. Mellow notes bounce off of a rolling drumbeat that brings a smile to his face. There’s an energetic drumbeat punctuated by guitar and what Jaewon thinks might be electric piano. A voice auto-tuned into an instrument indistinguishable from the rest of the instruments. Is that Dongho’s voice? It’s so soft, almost gentle. </p><p> </p><p>“You.. whoa… you <em> made </em>this?” Jaewon looks up from his computer with a smile. </p><p>“Mn,” Dongho smiles at him. And Jaewon smiles back.</p><p>He hadn’t meant to break down like that- to lose himself and slip in that moment. But now… he’s kind of glad that he has. Because Jaewon just… listened to him. Jaewon heard him and <em> cared.  </em></p><p>And that’s all he’d ever really needed.</p><p>“It’s amazing. Oh my goodness, I love it,” Jaewon breathes. It takes him a second to fully process what Jaewon had said. </p><p>“The song?”</p><p>“Yes!” Jaewon grabs on to his hands. “It’s amazing! Since you’re working so hard on it… you should totally talk to management about collaborating with other artists!” Dongho frowns. This… is not a reaction that he’d expected.</p><p>“It’s not that good. I might just scrap it-“</p><p>“Hey.” Jaewon interrupts him. “It’s a good song. And I really like it.”</p><p>He blinks. And then he crooks a finger under Jaewon’s chin.</p><p>“Ah. You don’t need to flatter me. Is there something you’re asking for?”</p><p>“Ah, this hyung,” Jaewon laughs. “I want you to teach me! Like you said you would!”</p><p>“Sure, Jaewon,” Dongho wraps his arms around Jaewon’s body, directing him to parts of the book. It’s probably irresponsible to be using now as a time to ease Jaewon into flirtatious behavior, but Jaewon seems more interested in studying above all else. What’s his concern, exactly? </p><p>Is it their company? But why? Dongho frowns. He’s not exactly clear on their debt or financial situation. He is aware that it’s not pretty. But why is <em> Ahn Jaewon, </em>of all people, involved?</p><p>But still, he wraps an arm around Jaewon and sits with him on the couch. He doesn’t take his hands off of him.</p><p>If Jaewon notices, he doesn’t comment. Dongho takes the opportunity to familiarize himself with Jaewon’s body. The skin along his waist seems to be sensitive, and as does the nape of his neck. </p><p>It’s nice to spend time like this, he thinks. Jaewon has a rather small waist, doesn’t he?</p><p>His mouth dries a little at the thought. Men with small waists are something he finds particularly… appealing.</p><p>He supposes that Jaewon does keep an effort to maintain a desirable figure, it makes sense. Shaking his head, he explains the concept of cash flow versus revenue.</p><p>Jaewon watches him with wide eyes, taking notes on a pad of paper diligently. He clearly wants to achieve something and like this… he’s actually rather cute. Dongho smiles, correcting a note he’d taken incorrectly.</p><p>Jaewon <em> is </em>adorable, isn’t he?</p><p>He wonders how it is that he’s never noticed before.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>It’s weird, the cat ear headband. It’s tight around his head. The clothing he’s wearing is very revealing. <em> Tight. </em></p><p>“Hey, Jaewon hyung,” he purrs. Jaewon hyung looks up from his book. He has notes open next to him. Like he’s planning something. But… what? It looks almost like… a business document? Jaewon hyung just blinks at him, surprised. </p><p>“Ah, whatcha doing, Daehyunah?” At that, he strikes a pose. </p><p>“Do I look cute, hyungie?” </p><p>“Very cute,” Jaewon hyung laughs. He ruffles Daehyun’s hair. “What’s the occasion?”</p><p>“Do you think I look lovely?”</p><p>“Very,” Jaewon hyung pinches his cheek. He’s being too <em> soft </em>and cute. Daehyun internally groans. He had planned on trying to hit a particular kink or fetish, looking at every girl he’d gotten into a scandal with. They’d all been very coquettish, wearing clothing that clung to their bodies and smiling coyly. One girl had been wearing cat ears. And while the cat ears concern him a little, he assumes Jaewon likes them.</p><p>So here he is.</p><p>“What are you wearing, anyway?” Jaewon hyung asks Daehyun. And he’s being so kind, so soft. It’s more than a little unexpected.</p><p>“Cat ears and cute clothes! Don’t you think our fans are gonna go <em> wild?” </em>Daehyun grins, trying to push the hint. He’s trying to be attractive to Jaewon. To make him feel hot and bothered. Get under his skin. “Don’t you think I look pretty?”</p><p>“Yes. Yes,” Jaewon hyung laughs. “You look absolutely lovely and pretty. You should always feel free to wear whatever you want!”</p><p>Daehyun falters. This… was not his intention. But at least Jaewon hyung is being nice about it! </p><p>Well... he did make a plan just in case it got awkward. Looks like it’s time to break out that plan b.</p><p>Daehyun giggles.</p><p>“I got you something fun, hyung!”</p><p>It had been an innocent gesture, at first. Just getting his hyung something nice. But he’s realizing that anything is an opportunity if he takes it. Jaewon hyung blinks at him, confused. </p><p>“Me?”</p><p>“Yes! Look!”</p><p>He shoves a chocolate ice cream bar into Jaewon hyung’s hands , enjoying the way he startles. It’s pretty, the way Jaewon hyung’s eyes widen and his plush lips part slightly. It makes some dark and primal part of himself enjoy how <em> innocent </em> Jaewon hyung looks, and want to see that face absolutely <em> debauched.  </em></p><p>He shakes his head. Maybe his desire to succeed at this is getting to him. Where would random thoughts like those come from?</p><p>He takes off the cat ears with a frown. Maybe they’re restricting the blood flow to his brain.</p><p>“Thanks for the treat, Daehyunah,” Jaewon hyung smiles at him. He opens the chocolate treat and licks it tentatively, soft pink tongue unaffected by the cold. Daehyun <em> stares. </em></p><p>“Of course, hyungie!” </p><p>“I’m breaking my diet,” Jaewon hyung whispers. “I’m gonna get in <em> trouble.” </em></p><p>And then he giggles, almost giddy. Daehyun finds himself fascinated in the way Jaewon hyung makes a little satisfied noise when the chocolate ice cream bar enters his mouth. Maybe it’s wanting chocolate himself.</p><p>Or maybe he’s distracted because Jaewon hyung is just that cute. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.</p><p>Minsoo hyung reaches over, putting the cat ears on Jaewon hyung, who blinks at them, innocent-as-you-please. </p><p> </p><p>He looks right into Jaewon’s eyes, grinning a little when Jaewon looks away from him first. The cat ears fall off with how quickly Jaewon turns his head, clattering to the floor. A pity, he’d looked very cute. Their fans would have liked the view.</p><p>Anyway, this should surely mean that he has some measure of effect, right?</p><p>“Jaaaaeeeeewoooonnnnieee,” Minsoo whines, grabbing Jaewon by his <em> very tiny </em>waist.</p><p>He pushes Jaewon up against the floor. Jaewon squirms under him and laughs.</p><p>“What are you doing?” </p><p>And now Minsoo has him right where he wants him. He beams in Jaewon’s face, relishing in the doe-like startled expression Jaewon gives him. Yes, Minsoo has him right where he wants him.</p><p>“Pick! Snacks or me!”</p><p>“You, hyung!” Jaewon laughs. “Why are you wrestling me? I can fight back, if you want, but I’m not that strong.”</p><p>“I dare you,” he teases. Jaewon obliges, flipping him onto the carpet easily. Minsoo would curse his aerodynamic frame, but now he has an idea. </p><p>“Hey,” he smiles up at the boy pinning him to the ground. “Want me to use my secret move?”</p><p>He reaches up, running a finger over Jaewon’s ear.</p><p>“Boom,” Minsoo whispers, grinning widely.</p><p>Jaewon’s ears are bright red under his touch. </p><p>Cute.</p><p>He flips him over, taking control.</p><p>“Ack- ah, hyung! T- the ice cream! It’s cold!”</p><p>Sure enough, the chocolate ice cream is smeared across Jaewon’s neck.</p><p>“It’s my ice cream now, kiddo,” Minsoo cackles, taking care to lick it off of the reddening skin. He bites a particular chunk, making sure to get some of Jaewon’s neck in his mouth. He looks up, pleased to see Jaewon’s face turning a brilliant red. Cute.</p><p>“Why did’ja do that, hyung?” Daehyun asks from across the room. </p><p>“It’s ‘cause I’m willing to take what’s in front of me! Ice cream!” Minsoo laughs as he stands up, ruffling Jaewon’s hair. Jaewon seems to process that for a moment. And then he beams at Minsoo from where he sits, chocolate ice cream still dribbling down his neck.</p><p>“And that’s why I like you,” Jaewon says, laughing. “Take, take, take, hyungie, okay? Make sure we win lots!”</p><p>He leans down, swiping some more of the sweet treat off of Jaewon’s neck with his thumb.</p><p>“I intend to.”</p><p>“Wahhh, what does that mean?” Daehyun jumps on Jaewon’s back, making him giggle. “Are you gonna lick him from the ends of his hair to his shadow?”</p><p>Tag-teaming? He can work with this. </p><p>“Why, is that something you wanna do?” Minsoo snickers. “I’m using Jaewon as a plate here, you sound like you wanna eat him.”</p><p>“Can I?!” Daehyun grins at Jaewon, who tilts his head back and laughs.</p><p>“Daehyunah!”</p><p>“Hey hyung?” Daehyun grins down at Jaewon as he squirms.</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“I am not drowning, nor am I in any way choking, but can I please request mouth to mouth?”</p><p>Jaewon blinks, confused, before bursting into laughter.</p><p>“Are you that curious what it’s like? I think Minsoo hyung took a lifesaving course if you want to ask him, but I don’t know CPR beyond chest compressions.”</p><p>“Mn... hyung,” Daehyun pouts. “Would you use me as a dummy?”</p><p>Jaewon laughs. </p><p>“Aigooo, what’s going on in this maknae’s head, huh?”</p><p>So they're upping the ante, huh? Minsoo wraps Jaewon in a possessive embrace.</p><p>“Get your own. I have claimed Jaewon lollipop rights!”</p><p>“A-ah… you don’t have to fight over me-“ Jaewon seems a little anxious. Minsoo snickers.</p><p>“Fine, we can share. Right, Daehyunie?”</p><p>“Right?”</p><p>Jaewon is bright red and hot to the touch. He’s blushing even more than ever.</p><p>“Jaewon hyungie really is a blushy guy,” Daehyun coos. “It’s so cute!”</p><p>Minsoo finds himself agreeing. It’s <em> adorable. </em></p><p>“Isn’t it?”</p><hr/><p>
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</p><p>It takes Jaewon much longer to realize exactly what he had meant.</p><p>
  <em> He has a crush on Minsoo and Daehyun. </em>
</p><p>And that’s… totally fine? He supposes? It’s not going anywhere… it’s okay to have a tiny crush on friends, right? Right? He swallows hard.</p><p>What’s the problem with it, anyway? He can have a crush, right? Right?</p><p>It’s… not a terrible thing. </p><p>It append when he’s making a private proposal to Mr. Park and sees his eyes light up. A clean economic opportunity. And his mind drifts to Dongho, carefully guiding him by his hand to the parts of his book that he’d needed to figure all of this out. </p><p>Mr. Park accepts, and stuffs his schedule to the brim. Jaewon doesn’t care. Because the money adds up quickly. For a single runway show (no, he doesn’t know how Mr. Park got that for him) they’re pulling in twenty-three million won.</p><p>He can picture the warmth of Dongho’s hand ruffling his hair and Daehyun wrapping his arms around him with a wide smile. He can picture and feel his heart skip beats and a soft smile creep onto his cheeks without permission. </p><p>He’s just happy, and realizing that he really likes them. </p><p>Is the pounding in his chest excitement or something else? Does it matter? It can’t happen anyway so… he can like them in secret. There’s nothing wrong with it.</p><p>Even if in moments like now. When he wishes that he could grab them and hug them. He knows that’s not happening. So he just lets the butterflies dance their dance in stomach. He knows it can’t mean anything-</p><p>But he can enjoy this feeling while it lasts. Can’t he?</p><p>He gets back to the dorm to see that Daehyun had been waiting for him until he’d fallen asleep on the couch. Ah, he’s so pathetically fond of them. It’s ridiculous. But it’s also a giddy sort of thing that nearly makes him laugh out loud. </p><p>He likes them! He <em> likes </em>them!</p><p>He turns and lays a blanket over Daehyun’s sleeping form. He’s so cute, sprawled out on the sofa. And like this, he looks so small.</p><p>“Sweet dreams,” he murmurs, planting a kiss on his forehead. </p><p>Because nothing can happen. No matter how much he wishes more than anything right now to hold their hands and kiss their cheeks. In that moment, more than anything he wishes that Daehyun could rest his head on Jaewon’s chest, where he could run his fingers through the blonde strands and wake him with kisses.</p><p>He turns away. What is he doing? And he just shakes his head. Being a fool, that’s what.</p><p>It’s okay, Jaewon looks over his shoulder with a grin at Daehyun’s sleeping form. He can be a fool for these guys. Why not? </p><p> </p><hr/><p>
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</p><p>Dongho walks into a doorway. </p><p>Not through. Into. He hisses, seeing a bruise forming on his wrist. </p><p>“Oh, do you bruise easily, hyung?” Jaewon looks at him. He’s red, looking away right after trying to speak to him. Is he… into that? Well, it’s been weeks without any discernible action on Jaewon’s end. That has got to be uncomfortable. Maybe it’s time that they turn up the heat a little. He tilts his head, exposing his neck.</p><p>“Yeah, wanna try?”</p><p>He smirks at the way Jaewon’s eyes widen and he doesn’t refuse out of disgust but concern. He’s so cute, honestly. </p><p>“Eh-?! I don’t want to hurt you?”</p><p>“It’s fine,” Dongho laughs, playing at confident. “Go on.” Jaewon seems a little more sure. Ooh, he <em> is </em> interested in touching his skin. Well Dongho doesn’t mind indulging his dongsaeng a little bit. He stares into Jaewon’s eyes, enjoying the thick tension that builds and refuses to <em> break. </em></p><p>It would be aggravating if it wasn’t amusing as all hell to watch. He likes seeing Jaewon come a little closer to undone. And Jaewon loosens a little. He smiles at Dongho.</p><p>“I- I can touch you if you want?”</p><p>“Here,” Dongho picks up Jaewon’s hand and presses it into his skin. Jaewon gives him a searching look before gripping him so hard that fingerprint bruises bloom on his skin. It feels strange, but oddly relaxing. He hisses slightly.</p><p>“Oh, that feels nice. Are you a massage therapist on the side?”</p><p>“Ah, hyung,” Jaewon flushes. </p><p>“Please, do it more,” Dongho flops over. It’s like a massage and he grunts as Jaewon works on a particular knot in his back. He’s practically black and blue in the area, but it’s nice. Loose. </p><p>He’s realizing that Jaewon’s eyes are darker. He’d affected Jaewon successfully. By all means, he should pull away and leave him to take care of himself. </p><p>But… he’s not satisfied. </p><p>“Do you bruise easy?” He asks. Jaewon shrugs.</p><p>“I mean… not bad? But you can’t bruise me, hyung! I have a shoot tomorrow!” Dongho pauses. Jaewon has side schedules? </p><p>“A shoot?”</p><p>“Yeah, I never thanked you for the help, but thanks hyung!” </p><p>Dongho isn’t completely sure he understands but he can smile and ruffle his hair.</p><p>Oddly enough, this is what makes Jaewon blush even brighter.</p><p>“Lie down, I can massage you in return,” Dongho offers suddenly. Jaewon blinks, surprised.</p><p>“Ah… you don’t need to-“</p><p>“Jaewon. I can return the favor,” Dongho insists. </p><p>Jaewon flushes pink, carefully turning his back to Dongho. He runs his fingers up the sides of Jaewon’s hips, and Jaewon shudders a bit.</p><p>He chuckles.</p><p>“I’ll make you feel as good as I can. Tell me if it hurts, okay?”</p><p>“Please… go slow?”</p><p>“Of course,” Dongho laughs. He massages the shoulders gently. He presses the back of his palm into it, working the wrist. It’s not before he presses a little harder that he realizes that Jaewon is holding his breath.</p><p>“Hey, breathe,” he scolds.</p><p>“Ah- sorry, hyung.”</p><p>“Are you nervous?”</p><p>“A littl- <em> ahng! </em> Hey that’s- <em> ah!” </em> Jaewon cuts off with satisfied groans as Dongho presses further into his back. “That’s- <em> ohgoshthere- ah! </em> I’m trying to- <em> hahh </em>talk to you!”</p><p>This is oddly… erotic. And he kind of likes that.</p><p>He presses loudly enough that Jaewon makes a noise that rings out loudly. </p><p> </p><p>He hears a groan that he is pretty sure belongs to Jaewon hyung. Did someone manage to get him hot and bothered? Or did nature just take its course?</p><p>He peeks into the room. It’s Dongho hyung, on top of Jaewon hyung, he’s so big on top of him. And Jaewon hyung is groaning under his ministrations.</p><p>But it’s decidedly not supposed to be a sexy scene. That doesn’t mean it isn’t.</p><p>He joins them silently, watching the way Jaewon’s lips part around his gasps and groans. Would Jaewon hyung look quite like this if someone fucked him?</p><p>He shakes his head. He’s getting way too curious about this. Morbid curiosity, he guesses.</p><p>“Oh hey, Daehyunah!” Jaewon hyung chirps.</p><p>Daehyun laughs, climbing onto Jaewon hyung’s lap.</p><p>“Hey hyung, they said I wouldn’t dare do something that crosses a line, you know?”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“I couldn’t say,” Daehyun leans in, grinning at him. His fingers make quick work of the buttons on Jaewon’s shirt. Jaewon hyung gapes at him.</p><p>“W-what are you-“</p><p>“Crossing a line,” Daehyun smirks, leaning in. His breath fans against the shell of Jaewon’s ear. “Am I doing a good job, <em> hyungnim?” </em></p><p>Dongho hyung seems to take that opportunity to press even harder into Jaewon’s back, given the choked gasp that comes out of Jaewon hyung’s mouth.</p><p>Daehyun strips the shirt off of Jaewon hyung’s torso with ease, pinning him to the ground. Jaewon hyung is pliant to their touches. </p><p>Dongho hyung works lower on his back, and Jaewon hyung nearly lets out a sound that sounds like a whine. </p><p>Gosh, in another situation, one would think that they’re having sex with him.</p><p>“Hyung is noisy, huh?”</p><p>“Y- ye- <em> ahng- </em> yes I am,” Jaewon hyung manages under Dongho hyung’s relentless pressure on his back. “Feels good,” he mumbles. </p><p>Is he embarrassed? It’s cute.</p><p>“Isn’t it?” Dongho chuckles from on top of Jaewon hyung. Had he said that out loud? Oh well.</p><p>
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</p><p>“Are you guys all having fun without me?” Minsoo whines. He walks over to join in.</p><p>“Isn’t he so pretty? Wahh, hyung even sounds pretty when he’s making these kinds of noises,” Daehyun snickers. Jaewon flushes pink, looking away.</p><p>O-ho?</p><p>He lifts Jaewon’s chin and smirks at him.</p><p>“He does sound very pretty, doesn’t he?” At that, Jaewon’s eyes widen as his face darkens. Minsoo even sees a little bead of sweat trail down Jaewon’s exposed neck. Minsoo leans in, wiping it off with the rough pads of his fingers. It brushes against the smooth skin on Jaewon’s neck.</p><p>“Minsoo- <em> ah! </em> Minsoo- what did you- do?”</p><p>“What did you call me?” He holds Jaewon by the chin. It’s interesting to watch him cut off in the middle every so often for a gasp to burst from those petal lips. </p><p>“M-Minsoo hyu- <em> ah! That’s- </em> Dong <em> ho-!” </em></p><p>“My, my. And aren’t you being naughty. He’s being so good to you and you won’t even call him hyung?” Minsoo smirks, pinching Jaewon’s lip. “Really? I expected better from you. Even Dae remembers honorifics most of the time and he’s a brat.”</p><p>“M- <em> hn- ha! </em> Minsoo hyung, I’m just struggling to spe- <em> oh- </em> speak!”</p><p>“Apologize to Dongho.”</p><p>He doesn’t use honorifics, and nobody comments. The truth is, Daehyun is really the only one who is consistent with them. And they all know he’s just exerting power over Jaewon while he’s a writhing, groaning- <em> moaning- </em> mess. How will this affect Jaewon? Minsoo is openly experimenting here.</p><p>“S- sorry, Dongho hyung.” There’s something rough, almost raspy, in Jaewon’s voice.</p><p>“Alright, I’m done. You good?”</p><p>“Yeah, thanks,” Jaewon stands, grabbing his shirt. He’s still bare. And Minsoo appreciates the slightly red skin along Jaewon’s back. </p><p>“Can I get a Jaewon hyung massage now? I promise to return the favor?” Daehyun pleads. Minsoo snickers. </p><p>“‘m all sweaty now,” Jaewon laughs. He excuses himself with a little bow. Minsoo catches the growing tent in his pants. Dongho watches Jaewon leave with a smirk. </p><p>They did it! Poor Jaewon is finally gonna release-</p><p>But his glee is crushed by the sound of falling water.</p><p>“Damn, cold shower? It’s like he’s trying to make this hard on us.”</p><p>Daehyun laughs.</p><p>
  <em> “Hard?” </em>
</p><p>Minsoo shoves him.</p><p>“Hey!”</p><p> </p><p>Jaewon steps into the bathroom and locks the door tightly. The sound of the shower is incredibly loud. He looks down and sighs.</p><p>He’s hard.</p><p>He’s <em> painfully </em> hard. </p><p>He keeps a careful eye on the temperature and steps into the shower. It’s wet and slick as it runs over his body. But he has one hand in his mouth and the other… the other is stroking himself. He groans around the fingers keeping him quiet, hands trailing back to his rear.</p><p>He runs the rough pads of his fingers over his rim, feeling the muscle twitch. It’s a stupid idea to do this. They’re in the other room and who knows what they’re even up to? Before in the shower, he’d covered his mouth and made it as quick and quiet as possible.</p><p>But right now... he pretends it’s Dongho, trying to be gentle at first and then reducing him to a quivering mess. Or Minsoo, who would never not be relentless. He’d abuse his prostate and play with his reactions, Jaewon thinks. Or Daehyun, who’d tease him a few times before actually fucking into him. Where would they use him? He’d like to think that they’d use him everywhere they could.</p><p>
  <em> “Mngh-!” </em>
</p><p>He can feel his own fingers inside, stretching and opening him wide. It’s not <em> enough. </em>He whines into his hand. He’s so dirty like this and in the most perverse way, he almost wants them to come in and touch him. Dongho, Minsoo, and Daehyun are in the other room. He wants them to put their hands on his hips and fuck him til they’re satisfied. </p><p>The words in any other situation would make him flush. But when he’s like this, all of his inhibitions go out the window. He is, after all, a young allosexual man. Though… the idea of them punishing him for being so <em> dirty </em>by showing off how filthy he can be...</p><p>He throws his head back, muffling his own moans as he pumps his fingers into his ass.</p><p>He groans around his fingers, sucking the digits and wishing they were someone else’s. Would they use him and milk him dry of cum? Make him into a drooling mess with their touches?  </p><p>His eyes nearly roll back into his head at the thought. He wants to feel them. To watch them get off and feel satisfied.</p><p>He… he wants them to fuck him til he can’t keep his eyes open. He wants them to fuck him deep and hard and fast and chase their own orgasams to the filthy music of skin on skin.</p><p>It’s such a stupid and foolish thing to want but… he gasps, throwing his head back. The cum on his thighs is his own.</p><p>For a moment, he wishes it belonged to the people in the other room. To be painted by their satisfaction and see their faces as they cum and touch him lovingly. </p><p>He shakes.</p><p>He’s <em> terrible. </em> Is he really getting off on thinking of his friends- his roommates- his <em> coworkers? </em> He’s bad enough for getting a crush on them as soon as they start being <em> nice. </em> It’s bad enough- he’s ashamed. He’s <em> ashamed.  </em></p><p>Ahn Jaewon is sexually attracted to his bandmates. Just because they're finally becoming friendly with him. He’s such a <em> mess. </em></p><p>He buries his head in his hands. Why is he like this? He’s never been ashamed for being gay, for liking someone… but these are the three men in the world that he could like and knows that he never should.  <br/><br/></p><hr/><p>
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</p><p>He looks at the situation he’s in.</p><p>Dongho had stupidly pulled Jaewon into his lap, not realizing just how much he squirms. Like now, as he squirms while he tries to read. </p><p>Dongho is going to suffer for this. Jaewon is pressed against him and moving so much, and this could end absolutely terribly.</p><p>“Why are you fidgeting so much?” He leans in, whispering into Jaewon’s ear lightly enough for his breath to blow warmth on the sensitive skin behind his ear. A satisfying red creeps up Jaewon’s innocent skin. “Am I making you nervous, Jaewon?”</p><p>“I- I can stay still. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable- I’m just ah- not used to this?” He wraps his arms around Jaewon, putting his chin on Jaewon’s shoulder. He can feel Jaewon tremble with effort to stay still. Good boy.</p><p>“Come on now, let’s get to work. You said you had other proposals to submit?”</p><p>“Yeah… like about that music thing? Like… producing for other idols? It’s a nice way to get your name out… after all. And Minsoo hyung had said he likes video games and streaming so… that’s something. And Daehyun’s busking?”</p><p>“What’s this?”</p><p>“I didn’t want you guys to feel left out… so I’ve been thinking about drafting proposals to the company and letting them approach you guys as they see fit…” Jaewon looks at him so nervously that he drops the flirting for a moment. </p><p>“Approach us?”</p><p>“I mean, I’m modeling to an extent that it can be counted as a solo activity… it’s not fair if you don’t get opportunities also.” He stares at Jaewon for a moment, knowing that Jaewon is once again squirming under his gaze. But he’s amazed. It has not really been a secret among any of them that Jaewon had been looking through books about branding and economics for the past few weeks but this… this is brilliant. It’s utilizing time that they can’t be singers to do other productive things. He smiles slightly. That had been his first proposal, he understands. But for them too...</p><p>“What are you looking at?”</p><p>Jaewon flushes, fanning the sheets of paper on the table. He’s proposing a YouTube channel for Minsoo to stream games, a chance for Daehyun to play music for cover songs or even have his own cover YouTube channel. And for him… he has a proposal to let him communicate with other artists and produce songs for profit that goes to both him and the company. It… could help take some of the burden of keeping MAYHEM and HCE afloat financially from his shoulders. Significantly. </p><p>“But before I get their hopes up I need to speak to Mr. Park so…” Jaewon shrugs, grinning at him. “I don’t want you guys to get hurt or be disappointed.”</p><p>For a moment he stares at Jaewon and has to force himself not to grab him and kiss him.</p><p>“That’s brilliant, Jaewon-ah. I’m proud of you.”</p><p>Jaewon grins at him, a wide and trusting beam. </p><p>“Thank you, hyung.”</p><p>“So what did you need help with, you’ve got a lot figured out, it seems,” Dongho wraps his arms back around Jaewon, and returns his head to his shoulder. It’s an intimate position, but it shouldn’t fluster him until he thinks about it later. An ideal method for a situation like this.</p><p>“Ah! Yes! So I was doing some research and I see that this statistic is more convincing but this one is more relevant. Which one should I include?” </p><p>Dongho grins at him.</p><p>“Don’t worry, I’ll help you through it again.” <br/><br/></p><hr/><p>
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</p><p>Daehyun grins at Jaewon hyung’s sleepy face.</p><p>“Good morning. You asked for someone to wake you up?” Jaewon hyung opens his eyes, his voice is still raspy with sleep. But he smiles gently at Daehyun.</p><p>“Mn, what is this?”</p><p>“Good morning, hyungie,” he cheers. Jaewon hyung makes to get up, but Dawehyun stays on top of the covers, looking at him. He’s right about the intense eye contact making Jaewon hyung blush, it seems. Ah, he’s so cute! He wants to see Jaewon hyung be cute for a little longer.</p><p>“Hey, Daehyunah,” Jaewon hyung whines. And Daehyun will not be addressing the heat that whine holds. “What are you doing? I can’t get up if you’re on top of me.” Daehyun grins, brushing a stray lock of hair from Jaewon hyung’s face. </p><p>“Looking at you. How are you so pretty, hyung?”</p><p>“Wahhh, you’re prettier, Jaewon hyung insists. </p><p>“Okay, time to get up,” Daehyun rips the covers off with a flourish. And then he frowns. Jaewon hyung looks up at him, concerned.</p><p>“What’s up?”</p><p>“You’re already wearing pants,” Daehyun pouts.</p><p>“D- did you think I slept <em> naked?” </em> Jaewon hyung looks at him, horrified. Daehyun flicks his forehead.</p><p>“Duh, why do you think I pulled the covers off? </p><p>“D- <em> Daehyunah!” </em> Jaewon hyung gapes at him, scandalized. Daehyun responds by planting a kiss on the spot he’d flicked moments before. “We <em> share </em> a room! That- <em> no!” </em></p><p>“Aw, you’re so cute, hyungie,” he grins. And Jaewon hyung flushes, looking away.</p><p>“You’re the cute one,” Jaewon hyung fights weakly. His hyung is so easily flustered, isn’t he? </p><p>“Mn, but you’re cuter!” He beams, trapping Jaewon hyung in his arms.</p><p>The hitch of Jaewon hyung’s breath isn’t lost on him. Daehyun pins him to the bed. He revels in the way Jaewon hyung’s eyes widen, completely at his mercy first thing in the morning. </p><p>Ah, he’s very cute, isn’t he? (Daehyun will admit that he had come in here intending to wake him up. But when Jaewon hyung is so easy to tease and so cute, what can he do?)</p><p>“Are you busy today, hyung?”</p><p>“I leave for a photoshoot at three pm,” Jaewon hyung offers. “Does that help you any?” It’s eight. He has time.</p><p>“That’s in like… seven hours. Why get up now?” Jaewon hyung blinks at him, before a presently surprised grin makes its way onto his face. </p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>“Can I hug you?”</p><p>Jaewon hyung laughs, shifting backward, making room. Daehyun holds him to his chest, forehead touching Jaewon hyung’s. It’s calm. He likes it.</p><p>“You fit right against me, hyungie,” he whispers. Jaewon hyung just smiles fondly at him.</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
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</p><p>Their maknae had claimed that Jaewon had asked for a wake-up call. He then proceeded to disappear for forty-five minutes. </p><p>Daehyun eventually manages to get Jaewon out of bed, and it’s late. Minsoo takes the opportunity while it presents itself. The amount of effort that he’s put into this is bordering on sad. But nobody needs to know what kinds of tutorials are in his search history. Physical touch, smiles, eye contact. He’s done his studying. It’s time for his test.</p><p>“Aw,” he runs his fingers across Jaewon’s face, feeling the soft, smooth skin heat under his touch. “Did you just wake up, baby?”</p><p>And Jaewon seems to short-circuit. </p><p>“Wh- me? Ah… I- d- did just wake up?” Jaewon flushes pink, hiding his face in the collar of his hoodie. “It’s just a little early for jokes, I’m sorry. Ah… not early… more like I’m not awake enough for them?”</p><p>“Aw, I wouldn’t call you baby as a joke,” Minsoo grins wickedly. “At least, not without making sure that you’re playing too. Why, is it that you want to play with me?”</p><p>Innuendo, confidence. This is enough to recreate a club setting, being like those girls. Isn’t it? He mostly just feels bad for Jaewon at this point. Is he gonna have to press him til he releases? At some point, he’s going to jerk this guy off himself, just to point out that Jaewon could have done this without shame earlier. Ah- why is he thinking of touching Jaewon that way- that’s… kind of dirty.</p><p>“H- huh?”</p><p>“You heard me. Would you rather I use a different nickname, less demeaning? Like Cutie?” Minsoo offers an alternative, knowing some people weren’t into the word that gets thrown around. It’s almost like he’s negotiating kinks, which is not something he ever expected this to feel like. When did he start feeling like this was a two-way street? Wasn’t this about a medical concern in the beginning?</p><p>“I- it’s fine. I just didn’t expect it… that’s all,” Jaewon mumbles shyly. </p><p>“Mn,” Daehyun wraps his arms around Jaewon’s waist. “Jaewon hyung is so cute when he’s all surprised by us. Don’t you think so, Minsoo hyung?”</p><p>“Oh, he is definitely cute,” Minsoo smirks. Dongho just laughs lightly from the couch. </p><p>
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</p><p>Daehyun runs his fingers across his stomach, fingers dipping lower and lower. And then just stopping shy. It’s inappropriate. Minsoo and Dongho just watch, amused. They’re...</p><p>They’re- oh. They’re <em> flirting </em> with him.</p><p>This was never about being friends. This was never about being bandmates. And-</p><p>And that stupid crush of his is worthless. Because there’s no feelings in this.</p><p>This was about taking the “easy lay” that Wyld promised. About the possibility of sex while they’re stuck with him. While they have him right where they want him.</p><p>And-</p><p>And that hurts.</p><p>That really, <em> really </em> hurts.</p><p>Because he could have liked them. He could have fallen for it. And then what? And then what happens? They get his body, and that’s all he can give because-</p><p>Because they don’t even like him. They… probably never did.</p><p>He doesn’t realize he’s crying until the tear falls on his hand.</p><p>And it settles on his shoulders like some freezing shadow. Cold is just the absence of warmth, and it’s like he’s realizing that it’s all flying out of him.</p><p>They-</p><p>Did they ever mean any of it? The smiles and the compliments and the <em> caring about him? </em></p><p>He’s just a game to them. </p><p>And he <em> should have known that. </em> He knows what Wyld is. He knows what <em> he </em>is. </p><p>He’s terrible. He’s terrible.</p><p>
  <em> Because he still loves them. </em>
</p><p>It’s not just a <em> crush. </em> Maybe it was a crush years ago, when he was chasing his dreams desperately with the shining people he admired and silently envied for being so <em> talented. </em></p><p>He’s in love with strangers.</p><p>Why else would he continue taking the fall this way?</p><p>Oh-</p><p>
  <em> Oh. </em>
</p><p>And he knows he should fall out of love. They’re using him all the same.</p><p>“Jaewon… hyung?” </p><p>“Your hair poked my eye,” Jaewon lies. And he lies with a <em> smile </em>. Because his heart is breaking and he’s scared to say it out loud and make it true.</p><p>“Ah, hyung,” Daehyun pouts. “You scared me!”</p><p>Something tells him… that Daehyun wasn’t the slightest bit scared. Not for him.</p><p>“Aigooo, my little dongsaeng cares so much about me!”</p><p>
  <em> No he doesn’t. And yet you still care about him. </em>
</p><p>What did he assume? Some fairy tale where wind blows all his wishes with the skies and they come true? His wishes all have prices.</p><p>Their attention has one, too.</p><p>Can he pretend he isn’t paying it? Can he close his eyes and pretend? </p><p>For now… for now? He’s going to. He’s going to squeeze his eyes shut and pretend it’s just a monster in his closet that goes away.</p><p>Willful ignorance is stupid. But he’s… he’s floating on flowers for them. </p><p>Once the flower wilts, you throw it away.</p><p>He’s going to come plummeting. He knows it’s coming. </p><p>...does he dare be happy anyway? </p><p>He smiles and pretends.</p><p>Because that’s all he knows how to do, when he has to hide Jaewon. When he has to hide that part of himself in cupboards away from where it can be seen. From where what makes him most vulnerable can be attacked.</p><p>He buries the anger and hurt. Jaewon was only ever there when nobody else saw Wyld and expected Wyld and- </p><p>And never him.</p><p>What was he <em> thinking?  </em></p><p> </p><hr/><p>
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</p><p>“How was the photoshoot? I didn’t get to ask because you got back so late yesterday,” Dongho takes a long sip of his coffee. Jaewon looks up, that familiar deer-in-headlights expression on his face. He always seems so surprised when they talk to him. It seems to take a moment for him to compose himself, but he does with ease.</p><p>“It was good! Thanks again for helping me,” Jaewon says, like he wouldn’t have done it for him. Like it was a majorly unexpected act of grace. It… it wasn’t anything like that. Does Jaewon… know that?</p><p>“Of course,” Dongho smiles. “I’m gonna be here for you, you know.”</p><p>“I know,” Jaewon laughs. And it seems so nervous that Dongho feels amusement creeping a smile onto his lips.</p><p>“Jaewon, we are friends.”</p><p>“W- we are?”</p><p>“Of course we are,” Dongho raises an unimpressed eyebrow. “Do you think I’m the type to tell people that I ran away from home if I didn’t consider them friends.”</p><p>“You’re a shut book, that’s true,” Jaewon admits. “I’m just… glad. I’m glad that we’re friends.”</p><p>“What else would we be?” Dongho looks at him, confused. Does this have to do with the flirting. Jaewon shrugs.</p><p>“Mortal enemies?” He jokes, and Dongho chokes. That was unexpected, but it makes him laugh. </p><p>“True.”</p><p>“Hey hyungs!” Daehyun slides into the room in his socks. </p><p>“Heya, Daehyunah!” Jaewon smiles at their maknae.</p><p>“Are you two busy?” Daehyun looks between them, a little nervously. It seems important. He can bow out for now.</p><p>“Not at the moment. Why?”</p><p>“I’m stealing Jaewon hyung!” Daehyun beams at him. And Dongho just shakes his head with a soft smile. Good luck to Daehyun. </p><p> </p><p>“Where are you taking me?”</p><p>Daehyun drags him all the way out, passing him a mask as they leave the building.</p><p>“I have something to show you!”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“Yeah, come on!”</p><p>“I’m coming! Let’s go!”</p><p>“That’s the spirit!” Daehyun giggles, tugging Jaewon hyung even harder. “Okay, open your eyes.”</p><p>Jaewon hyung opens his eyes, and gasps.</p><p>“This-“</p><p>“I know you’re supposed to be really busy soon… but I found a cat cafe that allows you to meet up with them and play with the cats in a park… so… I wanted to hang out with you?”</p><p>Jaewon hyung stares at him. There’s something in his eyes that Daehyun couldn’t even begin to unwrap. But then he smiles.</p><p>“Yeah! Let’s play!”</p><p>“Ah, there they are!” Daehyun waves at the cat cafe lady holding a piece of cardboard with “DaeJae” written on it in a hurried font. They’d made a ship name… with Jaewon hyung’s real name. All of Jaewon hyung’s ship names feature Wyld. DYld, WySoo, and Wylhyun. The ship names always had felt a little… ugly.</p><p>He thinks this one is nicer. </p><p>The cat is black and white with a pink nose. Her fur is so fluffy that Jaewon hyung coos as soon as he sees her.</p><p>“I’m supposed to stay and supervise… I hope that’s okay?” The cafe employee seems nervous. Jaewon hyung nods happily.</p><p>“Yes, that’s fine, ah… your name is?” She smiles with her eyes at them, brown hair swaying in the breeze. She’s holding the kitten and there’s a pet carrier beside her. </p><p>“I’m Dam Chungae! But you can call me Chungae!”</p><p>“That’s a pretty name,” Jaewon hyung grins. “What is the kitty’s name?” Chungae-ssi holds the cat up gently, like a baby.</p><p>“This is Seoye, she’s still very young!”</p><p>“I love her,” Jaewon hyung insists. “She’s beautiful.”</p><p>“Isn’t she?” Chungae-ssi seems to get over any previous anxiety. Daehyun just sits and watches Jaewon hyung laugh and talk to Chungae-ssi. And he’s realizing… that  Jaewon hyung is not behaving a bit like the press around Wyld would lead Daehyun to expect.</p><p>“Thanks, Daehyunah,” Jaewon hyung smiles at him. And Daehyun realizes that this smile… isn’t something he sees too often. It’s an unrestrained grin that he sees when Jaewon talks to fans… and sometimes to them. But not when pictures are taken of him.</p><p>Daehyun doesn’t realize what he’s doing when he snaps a picture.</p><p>“Ah- Daehyunah?”</p><p>“I just realized… you don’t smile like that very often. I wanted to get a picture,” he laughs. Jaewon hyung ruffles his hair.</p><p>“Sure, Daehyunah.”</p><p>“W- wait- your faces… you’re idols?!” Chungae-ssi gasps. “From that group… ah! MAYHEM, right?”</p><p>“Ah… yes?” Jaewon hyung looks a little nervous, but Chungae-ssi seems to have other plans.</p><p>“Ah! If we caught a picture of a celebrity taking care of the cats… it would help them get adopted, right?”</p><p>“Oh… if you want someone to help encourage fans… you’d want Daehyunah’s face on it,” Jaewon hyung laughs softly. “Trust me. He’s the soft one of our group’s image.”</p><p>“Eh? But you… I’ve known you for five minutes and I know that you're literally a… a walking fluffy cotton ball! You’re babie!”</p><p>“Ah, my image isn’t the same, though,” Jaewon hyung explains awkwardly. </p><p>Daehyun pauses… Jaewon hyung isn’t… Why is he staying back from doing what he clearly wants to because of his reputation as Wyld? He’s… he’s kinder than he seems, and Daehyun’s known that for a while. Jaewon hyung is holding himself back for some… nonexistent label.</p><p>“I can do it,” Daehyun agrees. And Jaewon hyung smiles so widely that it breaks his heart. The one promoting this should be him, the one who cares so much about this little kitty.</p><p>“Eh…? Okay, can you pick Seoye up for me, please?” Chungae-ssi pleads. “If you won’t get in trouble with management that is…”</p><p>“How about this,” Jaewon hyung steps in. “Dae can post the picture on his Instagram and mention your cafe… it’s run by a pet adoption agency, right? Does that work?” </p><p>“Yes!” Chungae-ssi beams. “If that’s okay?”</p><p>“On one condition, you gotta do it too, Jaewon hyung!” Daehyun grabs Jaewon hyung’s arm. Jaewon hyung awkwardly hands his phone to Chungae-ssi. </p><p>“Ah… can I trouble you to take a picture of us?” She takes their phones and nods eagerly.</p><p>“Yeah! Thank you so much!”</p><p>“Of course! Let’s get little Seoye a good family!” Jaewon hyung pumps a fist in the air, other arm coddling Seoye like a baby.</p><p>“Yes!” Chungae-ssi cheers. </p><p>Daehyun joins in the pictures but Seoye seems to be having fun climbing up Jaewon hyung’s arms. Much to Jaewon hyung’s obvious anxiety. Daehyun made sure to catch some pictures of that too.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>A bunch of really cute pictures go viral on Instagram and Twitter. It’s Daehyun and Jaewon playing with a kitten, making sure to mention a cat cafe and its programs. Jaewon even added the kitten’s name and insisted that she was a sweetheart… and Daehyun had photos of her scaring the shit out of him.</p><p>He’s really not all that... fond of cats. But he is fond of the laughter and smiles on their faces in those pictures. He’s <em> so </em> fond of those two.</p><p>“Jaewon!” </p><p>“Ah, Minsoo hyung?” He looks up, eyes wide. </p><p>And there is the same… awkward distance. It’s there no matter how much they ignore it. He really does want to be friends with his members by the time it all ends. It’s not so broken that it can’t be fixed with a little glue and a lot of love, right?</p><p>“Let’s do something together,” he decides. And Jaewon looks at him, a million and one things flashing through his eyes that Minsoo will never pretend to understand. He’s starting to get that there’s a few more layers to Ahn Jaewon than he’d thought there were. But Jaewon still takes a tentative step forward.</p><p>“Now?”</p><p>“Yep! Come on!” Jaewon still seems nervous, huh? Minsoo tries to smile reassuringly. He really is bored, okay?! He doesn’t always have a trick up his sleeve! To be honest, he rarely does.</p><p>“O-okay! Where to?”</p><p>“Hm… I haven’t decided yet. Do you want to pick?”</p><p>“So spontaneous, hyung,” Jaewon giggles. Minsoo nods. There we go. Laughter. That’s… somewhere. Minsoo won’t admit how happy that laughter makes him feel.</p><p>“There’s still a few hours left of daylight!”</p><p>“And then I have another shoot,” Jaewon reminds. </p><p>“At night, again?” Minsoo whines. Jaewon  shrugs helplessly.</p><p>“They scheduled based on the companies that asked, I’m fine with it.” Minsoo just shakes his head.</p><p>“Don’t work too hard, okay? How much time do you have?”</p><p>“I um… have two hours before I need to get ready,” Jaewon answers. With that much time… if they’re going out, there’s not much to do.</p><p>“Let’s just go for a walk, a lot of establishments are closed pretty carefully,” he shrugs. “I just wanted to hang out and something tells me you’re not in the mood to play a video game with me. I <em> do </em>get intense.”</p><p>“Okay!” Jaewon laughs, taking his hand. “Why did you want to hang out?”</p><p>“I’m bored,” Minsoo shrugs. “It's not more complicated than that. Does it… need to be?”</p><p>Has their relationship really not progressed to that point yet?</p><p>Jaewon flushes pink.</p><p>“I- I’m glad it’s something quite so simple.” </p><p>They have a good time, and his arm never leaves Jaewon’s shoulders. It’s nice.</p><p>
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</p><p>He looks around at them and wonders. Is it him that had started this?</p><p>Is this somehow his fault? The way everything is revealed to be in the end somehow? He watches them and wonders what he’s done to receive divine punishment like this.</p><p>He’s such a fool. </p><p>He had been ashamed of his attraction to them. Afraid to love them. A delicate bud finally letting itself bloom. And then having its petals crushed in the hand that coaxed it open. He’s given himself up for virtual <em> strangers, </em>but he’s never loved someone the way he’s loved them. He looks up at the mirror and smiles bitterly. What had he expected? </p><p>Daehyun smiles at him and in between toying with him, he still… still treats him like a friend. Dongho still ruffles his hair and Minsoo jokes with him. </p><p>The in-between moments when they could have been friends are so <em> broken. </em>They were all destroyed the second he realized that all of it doesn’t mean anything to them. </p><p>“Hey, let’s do something together! We should hang out!”</p><p>“Aren’t we all hanging out now?”</p><p>“Dongho hyung keeps coming in and out of the room and you’re just telling me to leave Jaewon hyung alone,” Daehyun pouts.</p><p>“You are using him as a pillow, Dae. He came back past midnight. Let the guy rest.”</p><p>“Hyung… you don’t mind being my pillow, right?”</p><p>“Of course not,” he laughs. And he smiles. Because that’s what he does.</p><p>“You have such nice thighs,” Daehyun murmurs, trailing a finger down them. “I’m jealous,” he whines. “I’m just all bones!”</p><p>“Aw, don’t say that! You’re very good looking! And you have plenty of muscle!”</p><p>“Aw hyung,” Daehyun settles in further. “You’re so nice to me.”</p><p>“Of course I am, Daehyunah.”</p><p>“Jaewon hyung is officially the best friend to have in MAYHEM!”</p><p>“Does that mean I can have Dongho back as my best friend now?” Minsoo asks the question dryly from his position on the floor, not looking up from whatever game he’s playing on his phone. Dongho rolls his eyes.</p><p>“And you think it’s up to you?”</p><p>“Fuck yeah I do. I’m the spontaneous hyung, don’t you know? Come on Jaewonnie! Let’s dance!”</p><p>Minsoo grabs his hand and spins him around to the cheery song playing out of the laptop. And for a moment, it’s like they’re all just friends again.</p><p>He’s blushing bright pink because he’s so happy. Minsoo is here with him, hands on his waist and laughing. He smiles.</p><p>And something is too confident, so <em> sure </em>in the smile he gets back.</p><p>Then it dawns on him with stinging clarity. He- he’s being <em> teased. </em> This isn’t playing around with him. It’s toying with him. It’s a part of that stupid <em> game. </em></p><p>And… he can’t accept that, no matter how his poor heart is pounding. His stupid, <em> oblivious </em>heart. His stupid heart that still holds out for these people no matter how hurt he gets in the end.</p><p>He doesn’t appreciate ending up in positions like this because someone was messing around. Crush the size of Russia or not. </p><p>So he turns the tables. Turns Wyld <em> on. </em></p><p>He pushes Minsoo against the wall, wedging a knee between his thighs. He smirks at him, rolling some of Minsoo’s silver hair in his fingers. And then he steps back and smirks at him over his shoulder.</p><p>“Ah, <em> hyung, </em>you should just tell me if you want skinship, you know?”</p><p>He barely acknowledges the whooping of the other two in the room when they stare each other in the eye. He fights to keep his expression teasing. Despite his actual frustration that, no, the man who’d pushed him against the wall, breathed on his neck, made his knees weak,  made his composure slip and his heart do all sorts of funny moves, wasn’t being serious. </p><p>None of this is <em> real. </em></p><p>There’s something he can’t read in Minsoo’s expression, though. </p><p>He isn’t quite sure if he cares.</p><p>And... enough is enough. They’re playing with his heart for fun and- ah. As much as he loves them, he loves his sanity more.</p><p>He’s going to have his revenge.</p><p>He starts small, testing the waters, by cutting a tee shirt into a crop top the very next day. </p><p>He mourns the fallen soldier. </p><p>“Oh- hey- hyu...ngie?” Daehyun walks into the bedroom. And Jaewon smiles at Daehyun. The picture of unhurt. </p><p>“What do you think? I got bored, and wanted to try it out!”</p><p>“You... you look great, hyung,” Daehyun manages. His eyes are wide.</p><p>So he does have an actual effect on them. </p><p>Good to know.</p><p>He looks in the mirror and watches the glittering tear as it falls and hits the butchered tee shirt. It’s ripped and frayed to be something appealing. And so is he.</p><p>Well… maybe it’s his turn to play with others. He’s so powerless. What does he even have to lose anymore?</p><p>Not himself. He thinks that might already be gone. He’s such a <em> fool, </em>to think he could survive when his face houses a soul created by everyone else. When his face houses the soul everyone always sees first.</p><p>It’s never been Jaewon.</p><p>It’s just… Wyld.</p><p>His own desires? He doesn’t mess around with girls. He doesn’t even like the opposite sex. But he can learn to like playing with other people. </p><p>What’s the point? Of falling in love like this?</p><p>
  <em> He’s never really known them anyway. </em>
</p><p><em> He’s given up everything for them, decided to do anything for them- fallen in </em> love <em> with them. </em></p><p>
  <em> But had he ever really known them? </em>
</p><p>
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</p><p>Jaewon is standing in the dorm, clearly having just arrived, but he’s hard at work on papers. He looks like he’s burying himself in work. It’s bordering on worrying.</p><p>“Don’t work yourself too hard, okay? You’ll work yourself sick.”</p><p>“I,” Jaewon announces, straddling his thigh, “am perfectly healthy. And you can test that out if you’d like.”</p><p>“Test?”</p><p>Jaewon simply gives a coy smile and returns to his work.</p><p>“I didn’t mean like that,” he smirks. “But if you want to play doctor, I can follow directions. Just tell me what you want me to do.”</p><p>Dongho’s mouth goes dry. </p><p>“You know,” Jaewon decides. “I think your lap is comfortable- do you mind…”</p><p>“Sure.” The word comes out of his mouth unbidden. And Jaewon just smiles, pressing his body against Dongho’s. </p><p>“Mn, you have firm muscles, hyung.” Jaewon whispers, running a finger up his chest. “I wish I could have that.”</p><p>The words are so ambiguous- the muscles or <em> him? </em></p><p>He swallows hard.</p><p>“You’re fine the way you are,” he says. Jaewon tilts his head, neck far too close. </p><p>“You’re sweet, hyungie,” Jaewon’s voice dips low. It’s a velvet crowbar, prying open his defenses, prying him loose.</p><p>Has Jaewon always been able to look this sensual while doing nothing at all?</p><p>“So, how am I doing?” Jaewon places his hands between Dongho’s parted thighs. For a moment, their position looks… lewd.</p><p>“You’re doing well.”</p><p>Jaewon smiles over his shoulder.</p><p>“Thank you, hyungah,” he chirps.</p><p>Dongho smiles, and tries desperately to ignore the odd heat building in his stomach. Maybe he’s been getting handsy with Jaewon often enough that it’s starting to affect him.</p><p>Jaewon’s smell is in his nose. And that concept has no reason to feel as sexual as it does.</p><p>“Ah! Jaewon hyung! There you are!” Daehyun’s voice saves and damns him. Their maknae flounces into the room and mercifully or cruelly pulls Jaewon from Dongho’s lap. Dongho still doesn’t know which.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on hyung!” Daehyun grins. “I’ve got something to show you!”</p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>“We’re getting a TikTok!” Daehyun explains. “So that means I gotta teach you all the dances!” Jaewon hyung gives him a sidelong look for that.</p><p>“Me and not Dongho hyung?”</p><p>“You think I’d ever?” Daehyun shudders. “That’s terrifying.”</p><p>Jaewon hyung bends himself in half for a moment, causing his shirt to ride up and expose smooth, creamy skin.</p><p>Daehyun <em> stares. </em>And Jaewon hyung looks up at him and shakes his head with a sigh.</p><p>“I was tying my shoe. What are you watching so intently for?” Jaewon hyung laughs at him, and Daehyun immediately remembers where he is.</p><p>“It’s dance time!” </p><p>“Can’t I just do the official choreography to other group’s songs?”</p><p>“Eh, not all songs have choreo,” Daehyun whines. Jaewon hyung laughs and turns on his phone. The cheery notes of Marshmell-O’s “I Want You” start playing. And Jaewon hyung dances to it, raising his leg high and wiggling his hips.</p><p>Hyung is a good dancer, a really good dancer. And Daehyun is acutely aware of why Jaewon hyung was made their visual when he stares Daehyun down with eyes that practically burn heat into him.</p><p>The song is supposed to be cute, but the look in Jaewon hyung’s eyes makes him want to do something that is anything but that. </p><p>The song shifts to a song from a girl group with a sexier concept. And Daehyun isn’t sure if it’s a blessing or a curse.</p><p>The moves are distinctly not cute, they’re dripping with desire and the <em> knowledge </em>that Jaewon hyung has his attention- has power over Daehyun in ways Daehyun doesn’t think he’s ready to admit.</p><p>And then Jaewon hyung stops, breaking him from his trance.</p><p>“See? I can dance!”</p><p>“Oh, you definitely can, hyung!” Daehyun smiles, trying to keep his cheery attitude. “Our fans would love that!”</p><p>“Hm… I think the second one is going to stay something that’s for in-person viewing only,”</p><p>Jaewon hyung winks and grabs his jacket. He’s out of the room before Daehyun finally remembers to breathe again.</p><p>He doesn’t swear very much. It’s not his style.</p><p>But <em> holy fucking shit. </em></p><p> </p><hr/><p>
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</p><p>“Ah, welcome home, you guys were out late.” Jaewon’s voice greets him as he enters the dorm. He’s holding a cherry red popsicle that’s melting down his finger. Minsoo hears Dongho and Daehyun’s breaths hitch.</p><p>Jaewon smirks at him, dripping melted popsicle down his thick lips. It’s seductive. <em> Inviting. </em></p><p>And entirely not for him. The popsicle is melting something awfully sticky down his chin and fuck- </p><p>Minsoo’s mouth is suddenly dry, but he thinks he might be drooling.</p><p>He can see the small lines of Jaewon’s V-line and his waist that’s almost small enough for him to wrap his hand around. He’s right there, practically telling them to mess him up.</p><p>And he isn’t. </p><p>He isn’t.</p><p>And that’s the most <em> maddening </em> part of it all.</p><p>He’s not actively seducing him. Jaewon isn’t pulling his pants down and giving him that smirk. He’s not spreading his legs and his lips wide and inviting them- no matter how much it feels like it. This is all on Minsoo. <em> He’s </em> the one being affected by all of this.</p><p>“Hey hyung,” Jaewon smiles. Then he pauses, blinking far too innocently to be honest. </p><p>“Jaewon,” he greets. “Did you go out and get popsicles?”</p><p>“Mn,” Jaewon frowns at his fingers. “I’m all messy, now!”</p><p>And then he drags his tongue up his sticky fingers. Minsoo thinks his heart is going to give out. </p><p>“I should probably be a little cleaner about this, huh?”</p><p>“Maybe,” Minsoo manages. And he regrets that decision. Oh, he <em> regrets </em>it.</p><p>You see, Jaewon parts his lips into a perfect “o” and pushes the popsicle all the way into his mouth with a soft sigh. Minsoo can see it bulge in his throat as dripping sugar syrup mixed with spit dangles from his lips in a shiny pink. </p><p>Has Jaewon always been able to suck on things so easily? </p><p> </p><p>He practices on popsicles in company bathrooms in between dance practice. He practices sucking thick and phallic objects. He practices and he does it for moments like now.</p><p>Yes, he’s aware this is ridiculous.</p><p>But the brilliant red that Dongho turns? The way Daehyun’s eyes widen as Jaewon takes the popsicle down to the hilt and effortlessly swallows makes the two days of sore throats and gagging worth all of it. </p><p>Even now, as his throat aches. It’s to the point that he orders tea at Coffee Temple instead of coffee, in hopes of soothing it just a bit. Jun steps outside and stands beside him on the sidewalk. The air around them is chilly.</p><p>“Hey, Jaewon.” </p><p>“Jun! Hi!” Jun frowns at him, and looks at his eyes. Are they puffy or red?</p><p>“You look upset. What happened?”</p><p>Jaewon takes a long sip of the drink in his hands. It burns his tongue where the sticky-sweet popsicle had been. He doesn’t like the feeling of either, but this one he prefers. Does he tell Jun a piece of the truth? If Jun is the only person in the world that he can be himself with, then Jun is the only person in the world that he can… he can admit that he’s hurt. </p><p>“My roommates were flirting with me… as a game. I was just- <em> I was just a game to them.” </em> Jaewon half sobs on the words as they leave. Jun stares at him, something like horror in his eyes.</p><p>“What the fuck,” he breathes. Jaewon shakes his head. </p><p>“So I’m playing too. And if it’s one versus three, then I have to beat them soundly, don’t I?”</p><p>“Good luck with that,” Jun smirks. “Oh, and Jaewon?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Tell them you’re thinking about a tongue piercing, okay?”</p><p>“O...Kay?”</p><p>He doesn’t think much of it until he’s back in the living room. He’s going to go out and buy the groceries but... he’s wondering how he’d even bring that up to the others.</p><p>And what’s the big deal about a tongue piercing anyway? </p><p>“What’s on your mind, hyung?” Daehyun grins up at him. The others have finally gone back to normal. He is successful in his revenge. He’s made them feel toyed with and unsure. </p><p>In theory, he should stop now. But he doesn’t think he wants to.</p><p>“Me? I’ve just been thinking about getting another piercing,” he says slowly. Daehyun claps his hands and beams.</p><p>“Ooh! You’d look good with another earring!”</p><p>He smirks, sticking his still-burnt tongue out for a moment. Daehyun freezes.</p><p>“Oh- I meant on my tongue.”</p><p>Dongho and Minsoo, both sipping something on the other end of the room, choke. </p><p>It’s an empty victory that creeps ice in his stomach.</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
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</p><p>He lets out a sharp breath.</p><p>Jaewon has been walking around the dorm with one of his white tee shirts, barely a shirt on his lithe form. It exposed an entire shoulder and almost half of his chest. And he seemed to insist on sitting on his lap to study more.</p><p>Dongho has tried to keep his ah… alone time to a bare minimum. </p><p>But Jaewon was there, in his shirt, marking his body as <em> his </em> territory to bite and mark and mar. Exposing his skin like he’s asking for Dongho to finish claiming him. And he did it with a smile that was dripping in saccharine faux-innocence. The shirt barely hung on one shoulder and left the other one completely exposed. The smooth, milky white skin that seems to beg to be colored. It turns a dark and feral side of him on. And oh, that primal side wants to pin this <em> tease </em> to the mattress and make him <em> cry. </em>Wouldn't Jaewon have looked so much prettier with purpling bites in his neck and sweat clinging to his reddened skin? With tear tracks drying down his face and drool still clinging to his lip? Looking like the aftermath of sin? </p><p>Dongho wraps his hand around his throbbing erection. It’s hot and heavy in his palm.</p><p>And Dongho <em> knows </em> that he should make this quick. He really <em> needs </em> to make this quick. Dongho licks a stripe of spit up his palm and wraps his hand around his dick.</p><p>He pictures Jaewon, hands and knees and smirking up at him, lips wrapped vice-tight around his cock and still smiling mockingly. He growls, going harder and imagining holding Jaewon by the hair and fucking his face until Jaewon can’t speak without feeling his throat itch and remembering that he’d shoved his cock there. He fucks Jaewon’s pretty mouth until drool dribbles down his chin and tears spring into his eyes.</p><p>He-</p><p>He opens his eyes and examines his sticky hand. The glisten of spit that’s still on his dick makes him want to do things that he should not do to his bandmate. </p><p>Whatever Jaewon is trying to play at by seducing him, he’s definitely got Dongho in the palm of his hand. He’s so fucked.</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
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</p><p>Daehyun regrets everything.</p><p>Jaewon hyung had offered to help in the kitchen. And the truth is, he’s not a terrible cook! But he’s oblivious to the way he looks right now.</p><p>A honey container had exploded all over him, leaving him shiny and sticky. And all Jaewon hyung had done was wash his hands. Daehyun looks at the sticky substance tracing golden teardrops on his hyung’s skin and swallows hard.</p><p>It’s just him being messy. Daehyun needs to focus.</p><p>And now he sees his hyung holding things far too long and rubbing them up with olive oil. He stops, watching Jaewon hyung’s hands running up and down an eggplant, slick with olive oil. D- did he have to rub it like that? Holding it straight up with his hands moving up and down? Or staring so intently at it?</p><p>“Daehyun? How am I doing?”</p><p>Those words are innocent, but they feel like whispers promising the filthiest things. Daehyun only manages to nod mutely.</p><p>Jaewon hyung looks at the stove and bends over, pressing his rear end to Daehyun’s crotch. And he doesn’t move, just fiddles with the dials of the stove. And then he turns and looks up at him.</p><p>Jaewon hyung in this position, sticky and dripping… he has to step away before Jaewon hyung feels something pressing against him when it shouldn’t.</p><p>Jaewon hyung’s eyes flick down and he smiles.</p><p>Daehyun’s eyes widen.</p><p>“You need some help with that?” Jaewon hyung giggles. And Daehyun chokes-</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“The whisk? It’s dripping on the floor. Here I’ll get it.” And Jaewon hyung gets on his hands and knees, and smiles up at him, wiping the floor. Daehyun turns his head, flushing. Jaewon hyung is here, sticky and bent in front of him in so many ways. It’s taking more self control than it should not to do something he shouldn’t. <em> Daehyun, don’t you dare cross a line you can’t go back from. Don’t even think about- </em></p><p>
  <em> He’s thinking about it. Shoot. Jaewon hyung, on his hands and knees and his lips wrapped around him. Jaewon hyung’s back, Daehyun’s hands on his hips as he fucks into him- </em>
</p><p>STOP! DANGER! DANGER! Jaewon hyung is RIGHT THERE! YOU ARE FANTASIZING ABOUT SOMEONE IN THE R O O M WITH YOU!</p><p>“Ah- thank you hyung. I- I can take it from here.”</p><p>“Are you sure?”</p><p>“Y- yes!” He prays that Jaewon hyung didn’t realize that he’d squeaked. Jaewon hyung laughs.</p><p>“Ah, then I should probably go bathe. I’m all covered in sticky-“</p><p>“Y- yes! I’ll take it from here! Thank you so much hyung!”</p><p>“Anything, Daehyun.”</p><p>And then he steps out. Daehyun looks down and frowns.</p><p>“Sit down! Now isn’t the <em> time.” </em></p><p> </p><p>Minsoo sits, watching Daehyun suffer. It’s a hilarious crisis to witness, truth be told. </p><p>“Ah, hyung?” Jaewon is out of the shower? He turns and his heart stops.</p><p>Dripping wet, water trailing glittering lines down his lithe body. At the sight of his neck and collarbone, his hand twitches. The lean, firm muscle of Jaewon’s body is more noticeable when he’s completely shirtless. Has Jaewon always looked so muscular? </p><p>All he’s wearing a towel- and probably nothing underneath it.</p><p>“Have you seen my crop top?” Jaewon asks. And Minsoo is going to go <em> feral. </em></p><p>“You… your what?”</p><p>“My crop top, hyung,” Jaewon smiles, stepping closer. Putting his smooth, unmarked skin in clearer view. He gets even closer. “Have you seen it?”</p><p>“Nope! Ask Dae?” He offers. He can’t… he can’t handle this. The sharp curve of his v-line is even more visible than before. And from this distance he’s realizing how <em> tiny </em>his waist is. He suddenly wonders how Jaewon would look in a skirt. Or something with a lot of lace and far too many straps. Or something in leather or latex.</p><p>He should really stop. He needs to stop.</p><p>
  <em> Lop that line of thought off at the kneeees- </em>
</p><p>This is… not a safe line of thought for him. At all.</p><p>“I did,” Jaewon pouts. “Did Dongho hyung take it as revenge for stealing his shirt? He’s not really that petty though…”</p><p>Jaewon had been walking around in Dongho’s shirts? He… would like to see that. He would very much like to see that.</p><p>“You... wore his shirt?”</p><p>“He just shook his head with a sigh and left. I figured it was fine,” Jaewon shrugs, the action making the towel wrapped around his waist slide tantalizingly lower.</p><p>Minsoo leaps to his feet and checks the dryer. </p><p>“Here,” he hands the crop top to Jaewon, who beams.</p><p>“Thanks hyung! I’ll get dressed then!” Jaewon beams at him and heads into his room. Minsoo breathes shakily. Did that… just happen?</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“A bold makeup look, that’s going to send them over the edge,” Jiho, Jun’s roommate insists. Jaewon frowns pensively. He’d been video calling Jun these past few days for advice after the success of the piercing comment. Jiho and Nari noona had put in their own input. He can credit the kitchen idea to Nari noona and the towel idea to Sungmin-ssi. Nari noona said she opened a Twitter page and changed the names to get input. Someone suggested walking around completely naked. (He had done that, but only in their room. Daehyun had squeaked so loudly that the others ran in, alarmed. What a <em> time.) </em></p><p>“You think?”</p><p>“I’m positive. You've got ‘em eating outta the palm of your hand now. They should be <em> humiliated </em> by being turned on by a color,” Jiho high fives Jun. Ah, it’s a whole operation now. He grins at them.</p><p>“I’ll take your word for it!”</p><p>“Ah, Jaewon, don’t forget,”Jun suddenly speaks up. His eyes are more serious than usual.</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“You’re never gonna be able to go back after this revenge. They see you as someone fuckable, now,” he reminds. </p><p>“When wasn’t I?” Jaewon huffs a bitter, dry laugh. And Jun shakes his head.</p><p>“Fair enough. The hag’s screaming, so I’ll go.”</p><p>“Thanks, Jun!”</p><p>“Don't forget, if there’s a big enough reaction, the best response now is to stop,” Jun warns.</p><p>“Gotcha!”</p><p>There’s a pretty red lipstick he tries, painting his lips a cherry red. Or well… that had been his plan.</p><p>He fumbles, lipstick smearing across his cheek and down his neck and-</p><p>Shoot. He broke the lipstick.</p><p>And he’d liked it, too.</p><p>Well, he needs to get something to clean up the lipstick smudged on the mirror. He thinks they have some wipes in the kitchen?</p><p>He shrugs, noting that smudged makeup is probably unsexy, but if they don’t notice him, he should be fine.</p><p>He reaches into the cupboard under the sink, when footsteps make him look up.</p><p>Ah, he’s such a mess, isn’t he?</p><p>Something in Dongho’s eyes darkens. In a swift motion, he picks Jaewon up, letting the wipes clatter to the floor. He runs a finger over the smudged makeup on his neck.</p><p>Jaewon swallows hard. What is he trying to do?</p><p>“Oh?” Dongho’s voice is a snarl in his ear. He fights a shiver. “So you thought you could get away with teasing me like this? Enough is enough. You have ten seconds to tell me you don’t consent or I’m going to fuck you til you’re screaming.”</p><p>O-oh.  </p><p>But- he sees Daehyun and Minsoo out of the corner of his eye. And they’re smirking. It’s predatory, <em> hungry. </em></p><p>He’s suddenly aware of how underdressed he is compared to them. He sees Minsoo toss something to Dongho and then there’s wet and cold stickiness dribbling down the inside of his thighs. He bites back a mewl as Dongho runs his hands over him, teasing at his dick.</p><p>And then there’s fingers in him, toying and teasing at his walls.</p><p>He throws his head back with a gasp.</p><p>“What even- <em> hngh- </em> p-prompted thi- <em> ah!” </em></p><p>“You walking around, like you think we don’t notice how you’re staring at us? How you’re just waiting for a reaction?” Dongho crooks his finger <em> just right </em> and Jaewon trembles. “Now you’re getting all dirty on your own? Not flying, <em> slut. </em>See your greedy little hole sucking so desperately on my fingers?”</p><p>“I just dropped- <em> ahng! </em> The l-lipstick- <em> ah!” </em>Jaewon tries to refute, but he’s trembling. Why is there so much heat building?</p><p>“And now you’re playing coy, huh?” Dongho hisses into his ear. “I’m not accepting that.”</p><p>Something large pushes into him and he <em> shrieks, </em>hands scrabbling for purchase on Dongho’s back- and when had he even taken his shirt off?</p><p>It’s so full, and it’s hitting his insides in ways that make his mind white out. </p><p> </p><p>Dongho is far too pleased with this. With the sight of Jaewon’s stuttering breath as he pounds into him. With the sweat on his neck cutting through the waxy lipstick. Minsoo and Daehyun are right there but <em> fuck- </em> he doesn’t care. This little <em> minx </em> thought he could test him like this? He doesn’t care if Jaewon wants to pretend he’s done it by accident. He’s gone and willingly seduced them. So he’s going to be taught a lesson for being a little fucking <em> tease. </em></p><p>Jaewon is so pretty like this, all affected, and Dongho can read him like a book. He twists the positions so Jaewon’s on his hands and knees, ass in the air. He grips the pale skin hard enough to bruise- to remind him not to push him past the limit again. Jaewon’s so quiet, moaning into his fingers.</p><p>So <em> that’s </em> how he’s avoided getting caught, huh? Well, if he wants to choke on something...</p><p>“Minsoo. Get over here.”</p><p>Minsoo obeys. Dongho can see how hard he is. That’ll do.</p><p>He pulls Jaewon up by the hair, until he’s faced with his leader’s cock.</p><p>“Suck,” he commands. Jaewon obediently parts his lips. Minsoo grabs on to his hair, fucking his face. He can see the drool sliding down his chin. Dongho resumes, taking a more brutal pace than before.</p><p>He can hear the little wails muffled on Minsoo’s dick. And Jaewon- he’s so hot like this. All sloppy and he’s still sucking on them from both ends so greedily like a little cockslut. </p><p>He snaps his hips against Jaewon’s, skin slapping against skin in ways that are beyond filthy.</p><p>He’s close, he realizes. He’s not particularly worried about any diseases.</p><p>They’re all clean. He’s seen their medical records before they moved in together. And he’d rather like to see Jaewon’s hole all puffy and leaking his cum. </p><p>He wraps a hand around Jaewon’s throat, feeling Minsoo’s cock hitting his fingers as he fucks deep into Jaewon’s throat. And fuck, if he doesn’t look like sin with his lips wrapped around a cock like they’re made for the job. He’s being so pliant, like he’s wanted this for some time. Well then, he’ll satisfy Jaewon until he can’t walk. </p><p>With a broken gasp, he releases, and pulls out with a satisfied hum.</p><p>Minsoo decides to pull off, and they leave him there, twitching. He’s so sensitive now that they have him all worked up like this, isn’t he?</p><p>“I said you were going to scream,” he purrs into Jaewon’s ear. The red haired member shudders. His eyes are almost glazed over. </p><p>He’s not kind with it, thrusting back in all the way to the hilt.</p><p>And Jaewon <em> wails. </em></p><p>“You like that? You like being filled up again and again?”</p><p>“I do- I do like it,” he babbles. “Just keep- <em> ah! There! Right there!”  </em></p><p>“And just what makes you think <em> you </em> can tell <em> me </em> what to do?” Dongho hisses in his ear, abusing his little prostate. Finally, it seems it’s enough to make him spatter cum across his own chest with a strangled scream. Jaewon looks up at him with bleary eyes. </p><p>Ah, he’s actually quite cute when he’s wrecked like this. He pinches the skin of his thighs, watching Jaewon tense and groan, little hole clenching now that it’s empty of cock. Jaewon looks over at Minsoo, and their leader taps his very hard dick impatiently. Jaewon sucks his dick with something bordering on eagerness. It’s adorable. And <em> utterly filthy. </em></p><p> </p><p>“I think it’s my turn,” Daehyun decides. He’s been too patient, he thinks.</p><p>Jaewon looks up at him with half-lidded eyes.</p><p>He’s painfully hard, he notes, lifting Jaewon’s leg. Good.</p><p>He fucks into Jaewon from the side. And Daehyun relishes in the way Jaewon’s thigh twitches with every thrust. He whines almost pitifully as Daehyun grabs his dick. He jerks him off and stops him, right when he’s about to cum.</p><p>He hasn’t had all his fun, yet.</p><p>“Hands and knees for me, kitten,” he whispers into his ear. And Jaewon obeys. Jaewon obediently taking his punishment doesn’t mean Daehyun plans to lighten it.</p><p>But he’s not planning on being kind. He yanks the rapper on his dick in a sitting position, fucking Dongho’s cum deeper into him.</p><p>“You <em> like </em> that? You like being <em> stuffed with cum </em> like that?”</p><p>“I <em> d-do-“ </em>Jaewon gasps, a mess of cum and sweat and that damned red lipstick.</p><p>“You know, I might just clean you off so we can ruin you again.”</p><p>“I think I’d like to watch that,” Minsoo hyung smirks. “Watching <em> Wyld </em> get all cleaned up and then destroyed <em> nice and pretty </em> by his <em> dongsaeng?” </em></p><p>Jaewon’s barely there as they clean him up, wiping the lipstick and sweat and cum off of his skin, taking extra time to play with his puffy red hole.</p><p>“You good?”</p><p>“Mm-hm,” Jaewon mumbles. “Wan’ more.”</p><p>“Slut,” Dongho hyung huffs. Daehyun enjoys the way Jaewon’s cheeks flush a slightly embarrassed pink.</p><p>Cute.</p><p>“Well then, I’m feeling generous,” Daehyun laughs. “I can fill you up all you want. You want that?”</p><p>And Jaewon nods. Well then.</p><p>He doesn’t bother with foreplay or fingering, and slides all the way in. Jaewon goes stock still, a gasp that breaks into a moan slipping past his lips.</p><p>He’s so pretty like this.</p><p>Daehyun litters bruises up his chest. Bites and claims, enjoying the little shrieks he makes whenever Daehyun sinks his teeth into him.</p><p>And isn’t <em> hyungie </em> just so pretty when he’s all destroyed?</p><p>He pulls out, electing to cum on Jaewon’s face. And yes, he does feel like Jaewon looks better with his cum all over his lips instead of those infernal popsicle juices. </p><p>Jaewon whines. And Minsoo hyung takes his turn. He seems to like making Jaewon cry out. And doing whatever it takes to get him to do it.</p><p>Daehyun watches Minsoo bite one nipple, and gently pull at Jaewon’s balls with his teeth. He watches Minsoo slap Jaewon’s ass playfully, before gripping bruises into the once milky skin.</p><p>And Jaewon screams every time. It’s awfully satisfying to watch.</p><p>But the cherry on top is when Dongho and Minsoo fuck into him at the same time. In his ass. He looks like he could come apart on their dicks. He’s such a mess, cock red and covered in cum from the number of times they’ve milked one out of him.</p><p>He thinks there’s no prettier sight of Jaewon than when he’s been ruined like this.</p><p> </p><p>Minsoo is obsessed with the view in front of him. Pretty little thing all fucked out. They cleaned him up and he’s a mess all over? How cute. Jaewon is almost out cold, slumped against him. They’re going to have to carry them.</p><p>Ah, he winces, they <em> might </em>have gone a little hard. </p><p>Well then, he bites a few more blossoming bruises against his skin. It’s just so pretty that Minsoo can’t resist biting Jaewon’s stomach. Jaewon weakly whines at the contact before falling asleep. </p><p>Jaewon’s rim is so red and swollen that Minsoo can tell that Jaewon’ll be having way too much trouble moving tomorrow anyway. </p><p>Ah well… he looks at the cum covered kitchen floor.</p><p>That’s one way to christen a dorm, he supposes.</p><p>Daehyun and Dongho are kind enough to help him clean up. And then they have to deal with Jaewon. They gently wash him and put him in his bed. Dongho notices the mess of lipstick.</p><p>So he really had dropped it. Oh well.</p><p>A phone buzzes, and it takes them a moment to realize it’s Jaewon’s. </p><p>It’s a text from someone named Jun.</p><p>“I’m going to assume your revenge worked if you don’t text asking for more help this morning. Word of advice: whiplash,” Minsoo reads. He frowns and thinks back.</p><p>The sudden popsicle obsession. The way his gaze changed all of a sudden.</p><p>Jaewon wasn’t affected by them. He was <em> pissed off. </em> He knew they were playing with him. The turning them on had been some sick form of revenge. </p><p>But why did he let them- why did he-</p><p>Well… what would it have even meant? Why <em> would </em> he have cared? </p><p>They’re not-</p><p>They’re not anything, after all.</p><p>Minsoo stops, unsure how to handle that. He- Jaewon is the only one who sleeps with no strings attached. But they’ve all just… they’ve all just fucked him. And Jaewon played the warm, willing cumsleeve. But there’s no denying that… that they started this. Jaewon just finished it. </p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>What had he <em> done?! </em></p><p>Jaewon looks in the mirror at the hickies trailing up his body. And they’re <em> dark. </em>They’ll take more than two days to disappear. He’s sore and it’s bordering on painful.</p><p>They’d snapped, it seems. His effect on them was too strong. Much more than he had intended. </p><p>But he’d let them… he’d still given him his first. And it’s not like he hadn’t liked it… but he wishes that it hadn’t been them. Why did it have to be them?</p><p>He needs to step in and do something. To put something between them. Is he willing to… is he willing to put his body there to make a gap? He’s given them his innocence but is he willing to give them…</p><p>He’s dug himself into this hole. He has to dirty himself to get out of it.</p><p>“Okay, we need to talk,” he decides. The others look at him awkwardly.</p><p>“Last night was ah,” Daehyun shifts awkwardly. Jaewon needs to be Wyld- he needs to be <em> Wyld </em>right now.</p><p>“I had fun,” he smirks. “And I know you did too. So I have a proposal.”</p><p>He knows he’d have needed to cover up how Wyld never went back to scandal-making. There’s nothing about this that says he shouldn’t do it. Except for the way that his heart pangs as he steps closer to it.</p><p>“A proposal?” Dongho looks at him, eyebrow cocked.</p><p>“Roommates with benefits,” Jaewon says. “I might as well just put the offer on the table. Considering that you were into me enough to start trying.”</p><p>“I…” Daehyun looks shy. “I’m in.”</p><p>“Alright,” Minsoo steps forward. “But we need to discuss things. Dongho?”</p><p>Dongho nods mutely. Okay. Relationship boundaries established.</p><p>“Work comes first. Which means that you can’t do… this-“ Jaewon motions to the bruises littering his body- “again. Not unless we’re on break.”</p><p>“Fair. And in terms of sleeping with other people-“</p><p>“Not exclusive,” Jaewon declares. “But if someone contracts something from someone, I certainly don’t intend to sleep with them. This isn’t like we’re in some kind of romantic relationship.”</p><p>“We aren’t,” Minsoo says stiffly. “Individual kinks are to be discussed by whoever is fucking who. And we are keeping this <em> secret.” </em></p><p>“Of course,” Jaewon smiles. And that’s that.</p><p>It feels like a gavel and a judge making a stony face as he’s sentenced. But he needs to fix what he’s done. So this is how he’s doing it.</p><p>By making sure that they never become something. By setting limits.</p><p>The fences he set dig into him with barbed wires. But still, he stays. More so, he presses in deeper.</p><p> </p><p>Dongho is watching. He’s just watching.</p><p>It’s a little weird, how things devolved this way. Jaewon had suggested they try something out. So here they are, trying something out.</p><p>Daehyun has a vibrator. It’s a bright pink vibrator and Dongho isn’t quite sure why he just <em> has </em>an unwrapped one. But it’s still in the box and Daehyun brings it out and shyly asks Jaewon if he’d like to use it.</p><p>Jaewon agrees casually.</p><p>Dongho feels strange sitting down to watch this like some sort of very sexual show. But he takes a moment to appreciate the curves of Jaewon’s body, marked by a galaxy of bruises that tells of a Big Bang of teeth and mouths.</p><p>It’s oddly quiet as they stand there. Daehyun takes the remote and presses it warily.</p><p>Jaewon yelps, hands flying to his mouth to keep quiet. Dongho tilts his head, thinking. If that’s the case, he must have been hiding his noises for a while if this is his instinctual reaction. Dongho doesn’t feel like letting him continue with that. Taking the vibrator from Daehyun’s hands, he turns the dial to its highest setting.</p><p><em> “Ahng-!” </em>The moan slips past Jaewon’s fingers in the most alluring way. It’s absolutely fascinating to watch. He flicks the vibrator to a high setting for a few moments and then immediately lowers it to the lowest.</p><p>He loves watching the way Jaewon just… stops. The way his back arches in shocked pleasure. But the moment he comes too close to coming, Dongho turns the vibrator all the way off.</p><p>“What are you-“</p><p>“I don’t think you get to cum til we’ve all had our fun,” he declares. Jaewon’s eyes widen in horror. But he doesn’t stop them. </p><p>Minsoo plays more heavily with the dial. Going in highs and lows and making Jaewon tremble.</p><p>“That’s- <em> mnngh- </em> wait that’s- <em> oh! ‘Mgonna- ‘mgonna cu-“ </em></p><p>Minsoo switches the vibrator completely off with an utterly wicked grin. Daehyun is a little more tentative. He goes slowly, taking Jaewon steadily to the edge, increasing slightly each time… until Jaewon lets out such a gasp that Daehyun flicks the vibrator off, cheeks flushed. Jaewon’s hands shake, fisted in the bed.</p><p>“I think we’ve played enough,” Dongho muses. “What do you want, Jaewon?”</p><p>“W- wanna cum, please let me-“</p><p>Dongho turns the vibrator to the highest setting.</p><p>Jaewon <em> screams. </em></p><p>“He’s so pretty like this,” Minsoo coos, watching Jaewon cum until he’s a twitching <em> mess. </em></p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
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</p><p>The room is oddly quiet. Daehyun sits on his bed, and scrolls through the pictures in his phone. The sight of the smile on Jaewon hyung’s face in photos of the day they had gone to see Seoye the kitten makes him pause.</p><p>He remembers how tender his hyung was, how excited but gentle. How <em> loving.  </em></p><p>He swallows hard. Sometimes, out of the corners of his eyes, he recalls that look on Jaewon hyung’s face. When he shyly offers the coordi noonas and hyungs water bottles. Or when he works himself sick but gets back up and smiles and thanks them for worrying about him. Daehyun knows that when Jaewon hyung thinks they aren’t looking, he directs his focus on them and smiles. A bright smile just like that one.</p><p>At least… at least that’s how it used to be. Not the dead eyes when he spoke to them today. Or the day before. The anxiety to come with them is new… hadn’t he liked them before? Hadn’t he wanted to spend time with them before?</p><p>Jaewon hyung used to look at them like that. But then again, he also used to act like he wanted their presence. </p><p>Now Daehyun can’t really tell if he cares. How had things shifted in two days <em> again?  </em></p><p>But the next day, Jaewon hyung smiles at him. He ruffles Daehyun’s hair and calls him “Daehyunah” in that soft, fond voice that he had before. And it’s enough to make him think that everything is going to be alright. </p><p>“Dae!” Minsoo hyung waves him over. “Is Jaewon doing alright?”</p><p>“I think so, hyung,” Daehyun says. And he’s pretty sure that’s true. Pretty sure. Because Jaewon hyung never has been the easiest to read.</p><p>“I hope you’re right,” is all Minsoo hyung says in response to that.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Minsoo sees a lot. He certainly sees Jaewon. He notices the way his eyes don’t light up the way they used to. The way he’s always working, like he’s reaching for something they can’t give him. If he’s in the dorm, he’s working. If he’s outside, he’s working. </p><p>Minsoo can’t say he’s perceptive, but he has eyes. Jaewon is doing what Minsoo does when he’s hurt- he’s burying his head in something else. And for all that he recognizes the signs, he can’t say that he knows <em> why. </em></p><p>And he knows he doesn’t have the right to ask. Believe it or not, Lee Minsoo does have social awareness. Shocker.</p><p>He knows enough anyway. Enough to keep his mouth shut right no matter how much he wants to pry. Hasn’t he meddled and pried enough? He’s overstepped his bounds already, he doesn’t know how much further Jaewon will tolerate. </p><p>He’s terrified of going so far that he finds out and it’s too late.</p><p>He sees Jaewon’s face on advertisements, popping up on a runway show in Paris. He sees Jaewon appear and disappear for periods of time with only a note that he’s gone to do something. </p><p>The days where Jaewon is gone are strange, because they’ve grown used to his presence only to lose him. But Jaewon will randomly disappear for a day or three and come back having earned significant amounts of money. </p><p>And by all means, it’s good for the group. But there’s a hard knot in Minsoo’s chest when he sees the notes. A quick scrawl that tells him that they mean enough for an afterthought. But nothing more. No calls, no words to their faces. It’s barely above a text. Because at least he remembered them before he left. </p><p>And it’s not like Jaewon hates them. It’s not like Jaewon looks them in the faces and says terrible things. It’s just… something is gone. And Minsoo can’t exactly pinpoint when it left. But he knows it’s gone.</p><p>He knows it’s gone because who couldn’t feel the absence of the warmth in Jaewon’s eyes when he looked at them? Who couldn’t see that Jaewon </p><p>And now, when Minsoo sees Jaewon with tired eyes and feels the barrier that he’s never really noticed before, the barrier keeping him from rubbing Jaewon’s back and asking if he’s okay. It’s a little funny, because they’d only been like that for a short period of time, and it was when they got the dorm.</p><p>It’s gone now. </p><p>But Minsoo thinks that he misses it.</p><p> </p><hr/><p><br/>Jaewon is everywhere, these days. He can disappear from the dorm for days on end. And when he’s in those buses, in those rooms where he sleeps alone, he realizes that in many ways he’s gone back to before.</p><p>But he can’t say that he’ll ever be back to before. He’d given them his firsts. His first kisses, his first time. His first head-over-heels feeling of being in love. And it hadn’t meant anything to them. They’d <em> hurt </em>him. And he knows that he’ll forgive them. He’ll probably forgive them soon. And go back to wanting to be their friend. But right now… it hurts. </p><p>Staring out the window, he sees the trees and the other cars and the people and he pays no mind to any of it. A photoshoot is somewhere between three and seven hours. Today he’s been to two. And then he’d been called in to discuss the proposal made before he’d opened his eyes. And had said it was going to happen.</p><p>The others are live right now, entertaining fans. Nobody asks where Wyld is. Because they can guess. Or maybe they just don’t care. </p><p>And he watches them as a lot of fans flood the comment section with questions about their modeling deals and shoots. And finally, Minsoo seems to address it.</p><p>“Ah, we won’t be having any shoots. Wyld was the one who put forward a business proposal to get permission and worked tirelessly on it,” he explains.</p><p>And Jaewon winces. That’s not going to look pretty. Dongho cuts in and Jaewon has to heave a sigh of relief.</p><p>“Yeah, he seemed pretty concerned about how MAYHEM was going to earn money since our comeback was postponed.” Daehyun frowns at Dongho.</p><p>“Is hyung even getting a lot of the proceeds for this?” The wry question is answered with a wry smile.</p><p>“Nowhere near enough. Ah, we shouldn’t be talking about that with our MAYNIACS.” Daehyun nods in agreement.</p><p>“Tell me about your day! Ooh! You had planned to see a concert for Marshmell-O? I did too. I wanted to support the comeback,” Daehyun pouts.</p><p>Jaewon sighs, about to turn the phone off as he gets out of the car, but Daehyun’s laughter makes him think twice.</p><p>“What have we all been doing lately? Well, we’re still practicing! That comeback is definitely gonna happen! And I’ve been playing my guitar a lot! And Minsoo hyung’s been playing a lot of games- a YouTube channel? Hm, we’ll just have to wait and see!” </p><p>“Yah, I can answer for myself,” Minsoo grumbles. Dongho laughs at that. And Jaewon looks back at the screen. </p><p>“But would you have?” Minsoo stares at him, incredulous.</p><p>“Yes?!”</p><p>“Dongho hyung! You gotta answer honestly!” Daehyun grabs Dongho’s arm with a loose grip.</p><p>“I’ve been working more on music,” he muses. “Ah, and helping Wyld with that business thing. But I mostly finished that. So music.”</p><p>“Can you get any more bland when you speak,” Minsoo snarks. “At least smile at the camera.” Dongho tilts his head.</p><p>“Hm… no.”</p><p>“Yah!”</p><p>Dongho and Daehyun burst into laughter. And Minsoo joins them. Something feels cold in his chest hearing them laugh both through a speaker and a door. </p><p>It’s bitter and childish, and he knows it. He presses the off button with a little more force than he needs to.</p><p>He bows farewell to their manager and opens the door.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m back,” a familiar voice rings out through the apartment.</p><p>“Jaewon hyung!” Daehyun leaps to his feet and Dongho doesn’t fight the grin that crawls onto his face. </p><p>The live chat goes wild. It moves so fast that he can’t read a single thing.</p><p>“I was watching your live,” he laughs. “Are the MAYNIACS still there?”</p><p>“Mn, also, you mentioned earlier that you were talking about it today?” Dongho takes Jaewon’s coat gently. </p><p>“Proposal went through. It’s time to see what the company does,” Jaewon laughs. And Dongho beams. Daehyun looks between them, confused.</p><p>“Proposal?”</p><p>“He’d been working on something before, about you having a YouTube channel and me producing more. I helped him submit it and Mr. Park got back to him today,” Dongho explains, hanging Jaewon’s coat. Daehyun gasps.</p><p>“And he said yes?</p><p>“Yeah! I think you’re gonna get a YouTube channel! Or a Twitch!” Jaewon’s answer makes Daehyun clap his hands eagerly.</p><p>“That’s great!”</p><p>“Uh… guys. You’re talking loud enough for them to hear you. It’s gonna have to happen now,” Minsoo cackles from behind the monitor. Their managers are not going to be happy. Oh well.</p><p>“Oops,” Jaewon grins mischievously at him. And for a fraction of a second, he sees what was there so long ago. </p><p>“Come, let’s go back to the MAYNIACS. We shouldn’t keep them waiting,” Daehyun interrupts, pulling Jaewon in front of the monitor.</p><p>“Hello everybody!” Jaewon grins at the camera. “I just got back! How are all of you?”</p><p>“Hm, you shouldn’t get to talk to them, late late late hyung,” Daehyun grins, crawling onto Jaewon.</p><p>“Aw, I wanna see them. Can you make an exception for me?” Jaewon singsongs. And Daehyun smiles softly.</p><p>“For you, hyung? Anything.”</p><p>Jaewon’s eyes widen. And for a moment, he has to regain his composure. That moment worries him. </p><p>“Yah,” Minsoo breaks the tension. “Are you acting in a drama, Daehyun?”</p><p>“That sounds like fun!” Daehyun grins. “Would you act with me, Wyld hyung?”</p><p>Something in his chest moves. It’s light and fluttering and… and-</p><p>Oh no.</p><p>
  <em> Oh no. </em>
</p><p>He knows what a crush feels like, he’s lived a life after all. And he knows what it feels like to have three.</p><p>He can connect the dots. Even if he doesn’t want to face the picture it creates: he’s not only attracted to them physically, he’s… infatuated? Besotted? Adoring? He doesn’t want to use a word as soft pink and blushing as crush- but he also knows that’s exactly what it is.</p><p> </p><hr/><p><br/>Daehyun stares at the table in front of him. He’d tried to take some imitative and seduce the others. Friends with benefits are supposed to find each other attractive, right? He borrowed Jaewon hyung’s staring method on Dongho hyung during a dance practice. And it had clearly worked, considering the way Dongho hyung had pulled him aside, asked for consent, and gave him a crushing but <em> amazing </em>handjob for his trouble.</p><p>Minsoo hyung had been all too happy to make out with him. In fact, he’d barely gotten started coyly tugging at his clothes when Minsoo had tersely asked for permission and then kissed him til he couldn’t breathe.</p><p>But Jaewon hyung… Daehyun isn’t sure. He’s not sure if he’s not noticed or just is studiously ignoring his attempts… but Jaewon hyung doesn’t seem to care.</p><p>Is that it? Now that they’ve done the song and dance of that back and forth flirting, Jaewon hyung doesn’t care about that anymore?</p><p>Biting his thumbnail, he reviews the facts. Jaewon hyung had responded positively before. And had even gone as far as to respond with flirting.</p><p>So what had happened for it to stop?</p><p>The four of them end up messing around because Minsoo hyung is bored and Dongho hyung takes that incorrectly. </p><p>And Jaewon hyung clearly seems to enjoy it. But sometimes, after they clean up any messes they made, he wishes Jaewon hyung would stay a little longer. Because if he’s still awake… he just leaves.</p><p>And Daehyun knows- he knows why it hurts. But as soon as he says it out loud… it will hurt so much more.</p><p> </p><hr/><p><br/>Minsoo blames it on early quarantine horny boredom. But… there he is. Faced with an ice mold. </p><p>An ice mold shaped like a dick.</p><p>Ah well. He’s filled it with water and stuck it in the freezer. It’ll be funny to watch the others react to it, probably. Carefully bending the silicone, he unwraps a perfectly shaped ice-dick.</p><p>“Hey hyung what’s tha- HAHAHAHA!” Daehyun chokes on his laughter. Minsoo grins at him.</p><p>“It’s so lifelike. Like, look at all the little details?”</p><p>“What even is this?”</p><p>“Ice dildo!” Minsoo practically chirps the word, making their maknae snicker. </p><p>Daehyun picks it up and pauses. </p><p>“It’s… really cold. Using this as a dildo is probably a really bad idea?”</p><p>“Probably,” Minsoo shrugs. “I don’t think it was intended for practical use.” Daehyun grins mischievously at him. </p><p>“What are the odds it snaps inside my ass?”</p><p>Minsoo cackles.</p><p>“Just wait for it to melt, you’ll be fine.”</p><p>“Fair,” Daehyun considers. “Hey, hyung. Shouldn’t we test it out?”</p><p>“You wanna?”</p><p>“Yes!”</p><p>And that’s how they end up there, the glistening ice sliding in and out of Daehyun. And Minsoo watches him moan and whine and the dripping ice gets smaller and smaller. It’s… it’s oddly hot.</p><p><em> “Hngh- it’s not- nooo- </em> please!” Daehyun’s whines drip into something low and curling heat in his stomach. “I need- I need more. I need to cum it’s not <em> enough- haangh! </em>Please, please Minsoo hyung, please I need your dick in me. Need your thick cock in me- I’ll be good-“</p><p>Minsoo cackles.</p><p>“Holy shit you’re actually into this!”</p><p>“S- stop teasing me!” Daehyun whines. “You’re so hard. I need it- please-!”</p><p>“Hmmm… you did this to yourself,” Minsoo decides. “I’m gonna watch inste-“</p><p>“Oh, no you don’t-“ Daehyun gasps. His face is flushed and he still pins Minsoo to the bed.</p><p>“What are you- yah! I’m your hyung!”</p><p>“And I’m taking the dick you’re withholding,” Daehyun giggles. “Hyungie is gonna be generous with me, right?”</p><p>“F- fuck,” he gasps. “Fine, Dae.”</p><p>Daehyun giggles, and in one simple motion, takes Minsoo all the way in. Minsoo hisses.</p><p>“It’s so cold!”</p><p>“Then you’re gonna warm me up with your hot, sticky cum, hyungie!” Daehyun laughs. And he moves, fingers gripping into Minsoo’s shoulders. Minsoo can’t move at all, but- </p><p>“That’s- <em> Dae!” </em></p><p>“H- hyungie! Yes! Right- <em> ah! Right there!” </em></p><p>He can feel Daehyun clench around him as he cums onto their chests, and it sends him over the edge. He pouts at Daehyun.</p><p>“Brat.”</p><p>“I think you’re the one who was being bratty, hyungie,” Daehyun giggles. “I’ll forgive you this time.”</p><p>“Why you little-!”</p><p>
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</p><p>“Alright,” the photographer grins. “Can I get some <em> bedroom eyes? </em> Let’s sell this puppy!”</p><p>Jaewon laughs politely, before turning his acting skills on.</p><p>He bares his neck, lips curling into a smirk. Eyes half-lidded but intense. The same as every cheap move he’d used on the members.</p><p>“Wahhh, Wyld,” the photographer giggles. “You’re gonna make the people who see this want to eat you and not the Pepero!”</p><p>Jaewon has a simple solution to that. He takes a stick and dangles it between his lips. They wanted to show that Pepero was not all innocent love or tasty snack. They wanted to show the versatility. And what better way than a sexy concept?</p><p>Ah, he already wants to go home. He’s been put into a ton of different outfits and backgrounds. Now they’re going for the only picture they’re actually going to publish. Why waste this much time?</p><p>Well, he’s the model and they’re the directors. What is there for him to even say regarding this? </p><p>He poses with the Pepero dangling like a cigarette and he invites with his eyes. Taste it if you dare, play the Russian Roulette if you dare… do you?</p><p>Jaewon doesn’t want to dare. He wishes nobody dared to.</p><p>But he also knows that’s a fool’s dream. The chocolate melts slightly on his lip. But he stays as still as possible so they can get the lighting perfect.</p><p>He doesn’t say a thing as they flit around him. Because in that moment, he realizes that what he feels isn’t fear or resentment. It’s a bone-deep <em> exhaustion. </em></p><p>He’s already given up. Wyld had won, and wears his face more than Jaewon gets to. And Jaewon will just… have to roll with that punch too. His spine twinges, a memory of last night. Luckily, they’d let him change. And the makeup artists made no comment on the base makeup he already had on.</p><p>Like the concealer.</p><p>The cameras snap and he lets them take their fill. This is not his face anymore, anyway.</p><p>The only thing that’s his is his mind, and he’s starting to question that too.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Dongho had just gotten back from a meeting with Mr. Park. And had they always been so far in the red? He recognizes the recent uptick, and knows exactly where it’s from: Jaewon. Jaewon must have put forward the modeling proposal (and how long had he been working on it?) after recognizing that his brand as Wyld was sufficiently large media-wise. Many companies see all press as good press and would pay <em> exorbitant </em>rates for his face to appear beside their soju or their clothing. And some of Wyld’s branding is innately helpful. A men’s makeup company has had a lot of fun with his face in their recent shoots. And it makes sense that they did.</p><p>Sexy, scandalous, and mysterious. That’s Wyld’s brand.</p><p>Honestly, it’s not a surprise that Jaewon decided to use it for monetary gain.</p><p>But that is certainly not what Kang Dongho is currently thinking about. Oh no, what Kang Dongho is currently thinking is the soft, slick mouth that’s holding his dick.</p><p>He groans, tilting his head back. Minsoo had offered when he’d seen the stressed expression on his face as he entered. And he’s not quite sure if agreeing was the best or worst thing he’s ever done.</p><p>Minsoo’s lips are tight and he smirks around his dick, knowing full well that Dongho is letting him do whatever he wants. He pulls off with a lewd pop, giving kittenish licks to the head.</p><p>The slick, wet tongue darts little circles around his slit and Dongho sighs.</p><p>“That’s a little- bit-“ he gasps. </p><p>He’s very much restraining himself from grabbing Minsoo by the hair and fucking his face til Minsoo’s throat is raw. Unfortunately, they have practice, and he can’t deal with Minsoo singing with a raspy voice and Daehyun’s knowing smirk- again.</p><p>Their jobs come first. And as pretty as Minsoo would be with cum left sticking to his lips, they need to finish this. He hisses as he feels the back of Minsoo’s throat on his head. He grips a little tighter on Minsoo’s shoulders, breathing becoming heavier.</p><p>He’s only human. A warm and moist tongue diligently tending to his erection feels <em> good. </em></p><p>Minsoo pulls off as he releases, spilling the cum down his chest.</p><p>“Well,” he says, voice far too velvet for someone who had just had a dick down their throat, “did that feel nice?”</p><p>“Don’t you want me to return the favor, I’d feel bad leaving you like this,” Dongho gestures to the tent in Minsoo’s pants. Minsoo laughs.</p><p>“I don’t feel up to anything in particular, but if you want… there is something I’ve wanted to try…” Minsoo’s voice is somewhere between sheepish and inviting. Dongho’s interested. </p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>“I bought… stuff…” Minsoo looks away. “I’ve been wondering what it’s like to have someone rip it off.” </p><p>“You bought lingerie for the sole purpose of it being ripped off of you?” Dongho laughs a little. “Gotta admits that effort.”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“What kind of <em> stuff?” </em> Dongho grins at him. It’s more of a leer. </p><p>“Well,” Minsoo grins, shimmying out of his jeans and throwing off his shirt. “This.”</p><p>He takes a moment to admire the purple lacy stockings that creep up to his thighs, or the underwear that covers everything in a revealing lace. He spies the pink slit and nods. </p><p>“And you were just waiting for this, huh? Wearing around lacy underwear that doesn’t cover it in hopes that someone would look at you? Well aren’t you just a little whore today?”</p><p>Minsoo throws back his head with a laugh.</p><p>“But I’m a pretty whore, yes?”</p><p>Oh fuck it.</p><p>“Very pretty,” he grabs Minsoo’s ass, firmly massaging the skin to the point that Minsoo yelps.</p><p>He leans down, biting into the holes of the lace and widening them.</p><p>“D- did you just rip it with your teeth- <em> ah!”  </em></p><p>Dongho just chuckles, running his finger over Minsoo’s rim and watching the little shudders. Minsoo’s thighs, still in that dark purple lace, trembled a bit every time he prodded the spot.</p><p>Adorable</p><p>“Ah, what’s this?” Daehyun grins as he enters the room.”It’s dangerous to go alone, take this,” he giggles, deepening his voice. In his hands is a bottle of lube.</p><p>“T- thanks Dae-!” Minsoo shoots the maknae a thumbs up.</p><p>“What can I say,” Daehyun grins. “My hyungs are all so horny all the time. I’m a good boy, so I should make sure to help.”</p><p> </p><p>Minsoo hyung’s eyes widen but he doesn’t have time to react as Daehyun saunters out of the room. A loud moan from the room he left makes him laugh slightly.</p><p>It’s been so long that they’ve abstained, of course they’re turning into deviants. He’s not surprised. But he is a little amused. More than he is embarrassed, anyway.</p><p>Jaewon hyung looks up from the book in his hands dispassionately as Minsoo hyung lets out a particularly erotic moan.</p><p>Jaewon hyung merely sighs, and goes back to the book and the calendar beside him.</p><p>Daehyun frowns. Has Jaewon hyung always been so busy? </p><p>He leans in, poking Jaewon hyung’s neck. He hasn’t forgotten his failed flirting attempts before Jaewon hyung reciprocated.</p><p>Minsoo hyung is moaning loudly and sweetly in the background, but he just looks at Jaewon hyung. To Daehyun, he looks like a white jade statue, perfectly carved and serene. </p><p>He holds himself back from running a finger down the skin of Jaewon hyung’s cheek. He knows that Jaewon hyung wouldn’t want that. His touch has become something that means something <em> else, </em>nowadays.</p><p>“Are you going to just watch me work, Daehyunah?”</p><p>“Ah… you seemed busy, hyung, so I-“ Jaewon hyung shakes his head, collecting papers and schedules. Daehyun swallows, he must have been busy.</p><p>“It’s alright. Do you need something?” </p><p>“I…” Daehyun trails off. What does he even say?</p><p>Jaewon hyung just looks at him and raises an eyebrow. Has hyung always looked this... overworked? Daehyun shakes his head and plants a kiss on Jaewon hyung’s stomach, moving up. He kisses the skin covered by Jaewon hyung’s shirt, up the slope of the rising and falling chest. Daehyun kisses up the soft skin of his neck, the end of his chin, the tip of his nose, between his eyes, his forehead, and the crown. </p><p>“What- Daehyunah?” There’s something he can’t place in Jaewon’s voice. It’s soft, <em> tired. </em></p><p>“Good luck with your work, hyungie!” Daehyun grins, and makes his escape.</p><p>Like he didn't just kiss Jaewon hyung like a lover. </p><p>As soon as he leaves the room, he hears Jaewon hyung let out a long, shaky breath. It’s something that almost sounds like a strangled sob making an escape. And only then does he realize how cruel the thing he had just done was.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Minsoo stares at the pictures. The pictures are everywhere (and that includes his camera roll).</p><p>Every advertisement is filled with Jaewon, he’s booked so hard that companies are vying for him to model just to prove that they could get the busy idol to give their company some time.</p><p>He sees Jaewon laughing with another guy. He’s an idol from Blackjack, and they’re posing with dogs for a promotional video for pet food. </p><p>He’s literally in an ad for everything and anything. It’s a little insane. Pet food? Ad. Clothing brand? Ad. Makeup company? Ad. Car company? Ad. Fast food chain? Ad. Perfume company? Ad. Tech of any kind? Ad. And Minsoo is a little afraid that Jaewon is being pulled in so many different directions that he’ll burst any second. But he’s holding it all together so frighteningly well that it feels like he’s hiding it from them, in his own house. </p><p>And he looks long and hard at the possibly-artificial smile on Jaewon’s face. He’s standing with the dogs, video paused in time, and he’s laughing.</p><p>He’d dare to call it cute.</p><p>And just what does that mean about him? To be like this? Watching the pictures and spreads and  videos and feeling his heart do strange little dances in his chest?</p><p>And under every modeling contract for Wyld, he sees their fans ask where Dongho’s contracts are, or Minsoo’s, or Daehyun’s. Can't they just be happy that Jaewon is successful? Why do they have to tear him down to promote someone else? Jaewon is a member of his team.</p><p>The words alone put a sour taste in his mouth.</p><p>A member of his team. A coworker.</p><p>Not a friend, not a dongsaeng, not a brother, not a lover. Wyld and Minsoo, leader of MAYHEM, are tied by many bonds. Lee Minsoo and Ahn Jaewon are held together by a thread. And Minsoo is watching it fray.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“You know, Jaewon, it doesn’t sound like sex with friends?” Taehyuk comments, sipping his drink. He’s video calling Jun and Taehyuk, and he’s greeted by the sight of them sitting comfortably, Taehyuk’s head on Jun’s chest as he traces little circles into his neck. They look cute like this. And they look so content, too. </p><p>A part of him is darkly envious. </p><p>“Wh-what would that sound like?”</p><p>“We can try?” Jun shrugs. “Cyber is different but like… why the fuck not.”</p><p>“You horny degenerate! Did you not wreck me enough last night?” Taehyuk’s eyes widen in horror. </p><p>“No,” Jun laughs, pressing a kiss to Taehyuk’s ear and whispering something that makes him flush a bright pink. That kind of happy softness is a good look on Jun. And he feels <em> awful </em> for the cold loneliness that he feels when he sees it. Can’t he just be happy for his friends without <em> wanting?  </em></p><p>“I- you want me?” Jaewon looks at them and for a moment he realizes that… in the world, of all the people who have ever propositioned him, they see past Wyld. What would it be like? To have Wyld be the separate entity put aside the way it always really has been? </p><p>“Sounds like a good teaching opportunity,” Jun muses. Jaewon stares at him, confused.</p><p>“T- t...eaching opportunity? What??”</p><p>“You’ll get it in a minute. Why don’t you lock your door?”</p><p>“Sounds like a plan,” Jaewon gets to his feet easily, clicking the lock shut. Daehyun is out busking as it is. </p><p>“Let’s talk first, ‘kay? Jun is ah… a little rougher than you’d expect.”</p><p>“Sure,” Jaewon smiles at them. It’s casual and nothing like him, but it’s the most him he’s felt in a while. “What do you want me to do?”</p><hr/><p>“Jaewon.” Dongho looks up. “Are you busy?”</p><p>“No?” Jaewon looks up at him. And he knows. He heard him last night. Two other voices in a speaker and Jaewon’s pretty moans. He knows exactly what it was.</p><p>And he’s jealous.</p><p>He knows, oh he <em> knows </em> , he has no right to be. He has no right at all to be jealous. He is <em> nothing </em> to Jaewon, and by all means Jaewon should mean nothing to him. But he’s a damn hypocrite. They’ve never said they were exclusive. They never said they were in love or obligated to care about each other. </p><p>And he’s not so sure how to feel about it, that he fell first. Though… maybe that’s what he should have expected.</p><p>He runs his fingers over the sensitive skin of Jaewon’s dick through his clothing. </p><p>Jaewon looks up at him, tensing. His eyes widen slightly. Dongho tilts his head, a silent question. Jaewon nods minutely, giving him permission.</p><p>“So pretty like this,” Dongho smirks. Jaewon whimpers, hands flying up to cover his mouth. He sees drool glittering against his fingers. </p><p>Dongho pulls them away.</p><p>“Now, you think you can get away with hiding all your pretty little noises?”</p><p>He tugs Jaewon’s dick a little harder, and Jaewon throws his head back, giving him room to attack his neck. He doesn’t bite, knowing Jaewon is going somewhere, so he leaves kisses instead. He likes kissing Jaewon, if he’s honest. More than he should for someone in a roommates with benefits relationship.</p><p>But then-</p><p>“Stop. Not now.” Jaewon’s voice is frigid. Dongho looks at him, concerned. </p><p>“Are you okay?”</p><p>“I don’t want to be in this position,” Jaewon says simply. </p><p>He’s speaking so coldly.</p><p>But why is his heart beating so fast? </p><p>Dongho wishes he could understand. He’d looked at them so happily once. And then what- they started sleeping together? No…</p><p>Not since midway through their… competition? Game? What even was that? When had Jaewon stopped blushing, had stopped smiling? Had he scared him or made him uncomfortable?</p><p>“If you’re uncomfortable, you can always tell me.”</p><p>“I’m not uncomfortable. I just don’t want it. Not now.”</p><p>He misses it, in moments like these. </p><p>Jaewon puts him down and bends over to put on his shoes. He notes the bruises on Jaewon’s stomach as his shirt rides up, and a part of him is almost sad to watch it. Fingerprints or bite marks, primal marks for a relationship… that means nothing to Jaewon. </p><p>And those marks could have been something, once.</p><p>They’re not.</p><p>They don’t mean anything.</p><p>Because <em> they’re </em>not anything. </p><p>And he knows that. </p><p>“I’m going,” Jaewon says by the door. It’s casual. But more frigid than he’d ever been with them. </p><p>“Where?”</p><p>“Out.”</p><p>He watches him leave and realizes exactly why it hurts. Because even before all of this. This rooming together, this sleeping together, before even the smiles and blushes- when they weren’t <em> close, </em> Jaewon has never looked at him like that. Like he meant <em> nothing </em>to him. Never so cold, never so empty.</p><p>He almost wishes Jaewon would hate him instead. Because he knows better than anyone that hate isn’t the opposite of love, indifference is. Whatever they’d had not even two months ago… it’s pointless. Something is <em> broken </em> here.</p><p>And he wishes it was friendly concern alone that made his heart throb in his chest. He likes him. Maybe he’s even in love with him.</p><p>And somewhere along the line… he’s hurt him. </p><p> </p><p>“Hyung?” Daehyun frowns. “What’s got you standing there like that?” Dongho hyung had been staring at the front door since he’d entered the room. He notices that Jaewon hyung’s sneakers are gone.</p><p>“Just… thinking, I suppose,” Dongho finally says. He’s quiet, voice soft. <em> Upset. </em></p><p>“Hey… I’m here if you wanna talk?” Daehyun sidles up to him awkwardly. Unsure. </p><p>“We need to call off whatever we’ve been… doing,” Dongho finally seems to regain the firmness in his voice from before. The hard edge on it could cut. Daehyun pauses, confused. What’s wrong?</p><p>“Wait, why?”</p><p>“Something is wrong with Jaewon. We said everything stops when we see him upset.” Dongho hyung isn’t wrong but… he’s still not telling him what happened. Does Daehyun dare to ask? He thinks… he needs to.</p><p>“Ah… what happened, exactly?”</p><p>Dongho hyung looks away. And Daehyun realizes for a minute that the look on his face is <em> hurt. </em></p><p>“I wish I knew,” he says slowly. “But have you noticed the way he’s looked at us lately?”</p><p>“You mean… how he <em> hasn’t </em>been looking at us?” Daehyun mutters. “He… it’s like every smile has never been there.” Dongho hyung shakes his head.</p><p>“I know. But today was the first time he’s looked at me like I never mattered. Like I could disappear and he wouldn’t care,” he says. Daehyun’s eyes widen. <em> What?  </em></p><p>“You don’t mean that, right, hyung?”</p><p>“I do. I think we’ve hurt him,” Dongho hyung stares him in the eye in a way that he’d found scary once upon a time. Now he knows, better than anyone, that he’s focusing desperately on something else. Focusing on what he can change and ignoring the hurt that wells a writhing pit in his chest. Daehyun knows him. And it hurts him to see Dongho hyung like this.</p><p>Because it’s not all fun and games, being in love with someone. And he thinks… he might just be in love with Dongho hyung. He might just be in love with him, and with Jaewon hyung, and with Minsoo hyung. </p><p>“Oh… but what did we do? How can we fix it?”</p><p>“I don’t know. I don’t even know if this is something we can fix. We… might have to go back to the way we were before.” Dongho hyung is looking at nothing. And he wishes he could do something, anything, to help him. </p><p>“Before?”</p><p>“Back to when we weren’t close with him at all,” Dongho hyung explains. His voice is soft, almost defeated. Daehyun stares at him.</p><p>“Wouldn’t that just hurt him more?”</p><p>“I think we need to ask him if he needs space. But we can’t make it apparent that we know he’s upset.” Dongho hyung steps away and looks out of the window. He’s staring at everything and nothing and some pain that Daehyun can’t see. Dongho hyung has been hurt by someone before. Why, who, or how, he doesn’t know. But he thinks he’s always known that someone has hurt Dongho hyung before. He just hasn’t ever admitted to it. Because it’s never been so directly in front of him. </p><p>“Why?”</p><p>He knows that Dongho hyung shuts himself off. Some of that is introversion. But how much of it is <em> fear? </em>Dongho hyung’s just… just like him, after all. He’s a person with his own experiences and background. A person with his own regrets and hurts scarred into his hands where he can never unsee them.</p><p>“Because he doesn’t feel like he can trust us enough to tell us that. Now more than ever,” Dongho hyung laughs. And Daehyun understands immediately.</p><p>Dongho hyung likes Jaewon hyung.</p><p>“I’ll talk to Minsoo hyung, hopefully to get him to intervene? Minsoo hyung had said that he wanted to be the one to talk to Jaewon hyung if we had any suspicions.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
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</p><p>Minsoo stretches out, muscles stinging. He’s tired. Very tired.</p><p>He frowns at the mirror. Minsoo can admit that he’s confused. And he needs to figure things out. This had been completely string-free. This had been about Jaewon. Key word being “had,” and that’s the problem.  </p><p>Daehyun and Dongho, the way they look at him. The way they look at each other. The way he looks at them.</p><p>He inhales sharply. The answer is obvious. He knows himself. He knows that he likes them in ways that aren't appropriate for being bandmates. And they like him in those ways too.</p><p>But… so what? What’s the problem from going from sleeping together to dating?</p><p>And for Dongho and Daehyun, that’s fine. But Jaewon… he knows that Jaewon doesn’t feel that way about him. He’d been startled but not excited when they’d come on to him. He’d just seduced them and set up a situation that suited him.</p><p>Jaewon hadn’t wanted it to mean something.</p><p>So he can fall in love with Jaewon all he wants, but Jaewon will not love him back. But for any good advice Minsoo gives himself, he rarely ever follows it. </p><p>He’d watched Jaewon in practice today. He hadn’t even looked at them once. He’s been working himself to exhaustion. </p><p>Dongho and Daehyun had been concerned about Jaewon, and Minsoo had gone to talk to him. And ended up sleeping with him.</p><p>Jaewon’s little gasping noises had cut through his explanation that he’s just been tired. Dongho had later reported that Jaewon had given him a blowjob in apology. The expression on his face had been… strange. Honestly, if they keep sleeping together, Jaewon might get too tired. But he’d claimed it helped him sleep at night better. Minsoo took his word for it. Like now, Jaewon’s head lies on his pillow, face slack in sleep after some <em> alone time </em>with him. Minsoo smirks. It’s adorable to see. </p><p>Minsoo is the type to <em> speak </em>when he has an issue with something. But there’s almost like a wall of ice between them. He can see through it, but it’s too cold to break through. The company had approached him about streaming to help with the debt. They had explained that Minsoo could earn more money and cut through the debt faster by picking up a side job.</p><p>Jaewon really hadn’t been kidding. He gets to see Jaewon’s impact. The number of jobs and brands tied to his name are beginning to border on terrifying. Is he even getting any sleep?</p><p>Jaewon doesn’t have time to fall in love. Jaewon certainly doesn’t have time to fall in love with them. More often than not, if he doesn’t leave after sleeping with one of them, it’s because he’d passed out.</p><p>He turns to face Jawon, but just ends up sitting by the bed, toying with a strand of his hair. Jaewon groans, lips falling into a pout.</p><p>It’s adorable. </p><p> </p><hr/><p>
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</p><p>He’s a mess. He’s a mess and he hates himself.</p><p>Both for whatever he did- oh it’s not whatever, he can admit that he’d had sex- with Jun and Taehyuk and for knowing why he hates himself for it. Even after everything he’s been put through? Even after the heartbreak and the cheap feeling that made him miserable as they became putty in his hands?</p><p>Even after all the touching and the physical things… Even after everything he did in attempt to cut himself off from them, to create distance… After all the pains he took to make things go <em> back to what they were.  </em></p><p>Why is he still in love with them? <em> Why? </em></p><p>Jaewon sobs into his knees. Why is- <em> why can’t he hate them? Why can’t he want to run away and never look back? </em></p><p>
  <em> Why can’t he not care? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Why is he still in love with people who he gave everything to and lost even more than he’d ever had to begin with? </em>
</p><p>He throws his head back, feeling the tears trace tracks down his face and <em> knowing </em>that he’s going to step out and let them use him and he isn’t going to love them any less for it. And they’re not going to love him any more for it.</p><p>Their kisses mock him. But he still wants them.</p><p>And he <em> hates </em>it. He hates it more than anything.</p><p>His phone rings. It’s Jun.</p><p>“Hey.”</p><p>“How are you?”</p><p>“I messed up. I- <em> really </em> messed up,” Jaewon laughs bitterly. “I’m still in love with them and I want to hate them.”</p><p>“Is there any way to put distance between you and them? What about that whole persona?” Jun asks. “You said you’ve been trying to get out of debt so he doesn’t have an excuse anymore?”</p><p>“I’ll be free of it, if I play my cards right,” Jaewon says, feeling fresh tears prickle in his eyes. “That can be enough, can’t it?”</p><p>“It’s really not, Jaewon,” Taehyuk snaps from wherever he is next to Jun. “Why are you letting yourself get hurt at this point? Is the rest of your life worth a single love? Please don’t- don’t fuck yourself over because of love. Get rid of this no strings bullshit that’s ripping you to shreds, get rid of Wyld, get rid of it because <em> fuck, </em>Jaewon. Enough is enough. If you can’t get out of that corporate bear trap, fine. But I think you should look for a different company altogether.”</p><p>“Leave HCE?” Jaewon asks, feeling the words thicken on his tongue. They’re sour and bitter and painful as they leave his throat.</p><p>“Maybe. You should try your hand at acting. You seem quite adept,” Jun says. It’s almost biting and sarcastic. But Jaewon knows Jun well enough to know what he’s saying. And Taehyuk is flat out saying it.</p><p>They’re telling him to decide if this is worth it.</p><p>And he doesn’t have an answer for them.</p><p>“How could I even leave? He holds my debt… over my… head-“ Jaewon freezes. “He can’t do that if my debt is almost- oh.”</p><p>“You could earn enough for a contract termination fee, can’t you?” Taehyuk’s voice is soft. “I’m sure you could strike out and apply to another company… but you can’t be an idol.”</p><p>“You have something on your side too. Blackmail,” Jun says. “If the scandals being fake won’t make for good blackmail, that little <em> thing </em> you have with those guys might just come in handy.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t- no!” Jaewon gasps. Jun sighs over the phone.</p><p>“Listen, you shouldn’t decide what you will or won’t do. Just don’t back yourself into another corner. Got it?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>He hangs up, feeling like he’d just jumped into ice water.</p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
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</p><p>Dongho isn’t sure what to do. He’s been looking at the graphs and the projected growth. He has his eye on what he knows about their debt. They’ll be out of debt, both MAYHEM and HCE, in a week at the rate they're going. If Jaewon’s body doesn’t give out first.</p><p>And that leaves the question of Jaewon. He’s been working himself to splinters for this. But why now? Why out of nowhere? </p><p>He has a theory. And he’s not sure that he likes it. Is Jaewon trying to get them out of debt to make his contract termination easier? And if that’s true, he’s sleeping with them for leverage. And isn’t that him just agreeing to be used? </p><p><em> “I’ll be free of it, if I play my cards right.” </em> Jaewon had said in that conversation with the mystery person on the other end of the phone. Dongho has been reduced to a card to play. Not even. He’s a piece of a card.</p><p>He groans, burying his head in hands.</p><p>Things had spiraled into a disaster. He’s in love with a bandmate who seems to be desperately trying to <em> leave. </em>And he left before he had to hear it plainly. </p><p>And Dongho wants to reach out, hold Jaewon to his chest and plead with him to never leave him. And that’s stupid- if he really cares about Jaewon, he should help him leave. Is… is he never going to see him again? </p><p>Jaewon’s cutting his losses, he supposes. But at this rate… he might just take out High Class Ent. with him. Jaewon is the company’s biggest source of income at the moment. For that to suddenly disappear would be catastrophic.</p><p>Jaewon is hurt, and ready to leave. Dongho doesn’t know if he intends to take them all down with him. </p><p>Jaewon had asked him about business and economics. He knows the workings of a company. And damn it, is Dongho stupid enough to go down because he’s fallen in love? Absolutely. He absolutely is. And the way things are going, he’s going to.</p><p>And-</p><p>And that hurts.</p><p>That really, <em> really </em> hurts.</p><p>Because they could have been something. He could have fallen for it. And then what? And then what happens? Jaewon has his body, and that’s all he can give because-</p><p>Because Jaewon doesn’t even like him. And he said he hadn’t from the start.</p><p>For all Minsoo assumed it was Jaewon’s revenge, playful or angry to be determined, Dongho can tell. </p><p>It’s a scheme.</p><p>And they tangled themselves in the rope and opened themselves to be pawns in it. He can’t fault Jaewon for doing the smart thing. He can’t fault him for doing the thing that’s best for him... And by all means, he knows that this means he should let him go, to not burden Jaewon with his love.</p><p>But he’s selfish, and he <em> wants. </em></p><p>But what he wants is something he can’t have.</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
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</p><p>It’s a terrible idea. He’s still aware of the thin ice coating eggshells- a situation that’s on a razor’s edge of disaster. He looks over at his roommate. He gently taps Jaewon hyung’s shoulder.</p><p>“Hyung?”</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“Can I sleep with you tonight?”</p><p>Jaewon hyung freezes, eyes wide. And then his face softens into an expression that Daehyun can’t read.</p><p>“Okay, Daehyunah,” Jaewon hyung says. And Daehyun feels the worms squirming in his stomach become butterflies- which is definitely not how it works. Should he have said caterpillars? </p><p>He climbs under the covers of the bed that’s really not big enough for two grown people. He looks warily at Jaewon hyung. </p><p>“Can I hug you?”</p><p>Jaewon hyung nods slowly, letting him bury his head into Jaewon’s chest. Letting Daehyun hear the steady thumping of Jaewon hyung’s heart. But he still can’t sleep. There are so many questions he wants to ask Jaewon hyung. And the biggest question of all rests on his tongue.</p><p><em> “What are we?” </em>Daehyun wants to ask, but he’s so scared of the answer. So for now, Daehyun just appreciates the smooth line of his face, eyelashes delicate against his moonlight skin. He’s beautiful and peaceful and Daehyun can’t help but admire him. </p><p>Gosh, Daehyun really has fallen in love again. And he thinks… he thinks that he’s glad that it’s his hyungs who he’s fallen for. Because they’re the people he can rely on. They reach out in their own tentative and gentle ways every time they notice he’s sad. He really knows that they care about him, even if they never say it out loud. He breathes in Jaewon hyung’s scent and he feels calm. </p><p>The steady sound of Jaewon hyung’s breathing grounds him. </p><p>Daehyun smiles fondly, reaching up to run a hand through Jaewon hyung’s hair. He’s so cute that it makes Daehyun physically sick.</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
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</p><p>Minsoo has noticed a pattern. Jaewon disappears for days on end, appears in another couple ads or appearances, and comes back for sex and rest.</p><p>And Minsoo can’t fault Jaewon for being tired. But he’s worried. </p><p>Daehyun sends Jaewon text all the time, and Minsoo and Dongho haven’t been subtle in their concern. Because their conversations in person have become entirely in gasps, moans, and skin on skin. </p><p>And it’s impersonal to a point that it hurts. Had they come close enough to touch and gotten blown backward for everything? He doesn’t want to feel so far away from Jaewon. He’s closer to the others and he really, really likes them. But it doesn’t take away the pain that <em> Jaewon isn’t there. </em></p><p>He looks across the room and gapes at the sight that greets him. Daehyun sits on the couch, staring mournfully at a chipped blue mug in his hands. </p><p>“Minsoo hyung,” Daehyun stares solemnly at his tea. “You know, I’ve messed up in the past and it <em> terrifies </em>me because I think I’ve done it again.” Daehyun’s smile is so fragile that it breaks Minsoo’s heart to see. He sits beside Daehyun, putting a hand on his shoulder. </p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“I had a friend. Minyoung…”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, from Marshmell-O, right? She’s pretty,” Minsoo encourages as Daehyun trails off. Daehyun’s smile cracks like thin ice.</p><p>“She used to be… less than the beauty standard. And she was my best friend. I heard her sing and needed to meet her… and eventually started crushing on her but my best friend- at the time, that is- he said something cruel. She didn’t know I was there but <em> I </em>know I was there. And I didn’t say a thing.”</p><p>Oh. </p><p>
  <em> Oh. </em>
</p><p>He stares at Daehyun and it takes him a minute to figure out what he should even say. And when he does, he’s not even sure it’s the right thing to.</p><p>“I’ll be honest, Daehyun. I also have moments where we didn’t do something and wondered what would have happened years down the line. I still think about them.” His words are soft, but Daehyun just shakes his head, refusing to accept that he can forgive his own mistakes.</p><p>“I had a crush on her for a long time. Until pretty recently… but now I’m wondering how much of that crush that stayed with me for years was just guilt? How much of that emotion was a response to how I felt about myself? And now I’m looking at Jaewon hyung and I recognize that same guilt. There’s something I should have done but this time I don’t even know what it <em> is.” </em> Daehyun laughs into his hand bitterly. </p><p>“Daehyun, not everything that goes wrong is your fault. You messed up before and you regret it, but Minyoung looks like she’s having a great time. And besides, you know you’ve messed up somewhere now, and you want to fix it, don’t you?”</p><p>“Of course!” Daehyun’s expression looks like a cross between determined and indignant. And Minsoo smiles.</p><p>“That means you’ve grown. You can regret your past, but don’t let your mistakes rule you. If you don’t give up and move forward, you’ve grown and that’s what makes you human, Dae.” Minsoo smiles at him, running his fingers through Daehyun’s hair. Their maknae isn’t as naive as they pretend he is, and it’s times like these where he has to face that. Daehyun’s smile against his lap is bitter, <em> so </em> bitter, and Minsoo feels that smile like he’s the one wearing it. It’s like he’s looking in a mirror and it hurts so <em> badly </em>to know that it’s Daehyun on the other side of the glass.</p><p>“Have I really?”</p><p>Minsoo lifts Daehyun’s face with his hands. He smiles gently at Daehyun. He doesn’t particularly care if Daehyun picks up his heart eyes in this smile, he just wants Daehyun to be <em> happy. </em></p><p>“You know there’s something you <em> need </em>to do, don’t you?”</p><p>“Yes,” Daehyun says firmly. Minsoo smiles fondly. That’s their makane.</p><p>“Then go and do it. I’ll support you.”</p><p>Daehyun’s eyes widen. And then he smiles. It’s gentle.</p><p>“Thank you, Minsoo hyung.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p>Jaewon looks at the text message on his phone. He leaves it unanswered. </p><p>Daehyun’s been sending him cute little messages. Sometimes it’s pictures of food. Or animals or pretty things he found online. Sometimes it’s a selfie. They’re all accompanied by well-wishes that he doesn’t know how to handle.</p><p>
  <em> ‘Have a great time at the Hyungdee shoot, hyungie!’ </em>
</p><p>Dongho’s been trying to give him space. And so has Minsoo. And Jaewon knows that they’re doing it on purpose… and he knows that they’re still concerned, given the glances that they think they’re hiding.</p><p>But Daehyun admits that they’re always asking if he’s replied and how he’s doing. That they’re worried about him. And- he just wants to fall out of love. But how can he do it when they’re so gentle? So careful with him?</p><p>He’s not sure what’s real, what’s fake, and what’s hiding motives anymore. He frowns at his phone, leaving the message on “read” and walking away. He doesn’t even know what to say to do.</p><p>Does he stay or does he go? He wants to hold on to them, even as his fingers are burning and breaking. Is he delusional?</p><p>He frowns at the reflection in the mirror. How much of that image is Jaewon anymore? Is Wyld taking all of him and killing every bit of the Jaewon that lived until the only thing left is Wyld? Is he going to die and leave a shell? </p><p>Is it going to end like this? Is his ultimate revenge to destroy everything he loved? Everything that he <em> still loves?  </em></p><p>Can’t he feel rage? <em> Where is his anger? Why can’t he just be angry?  </em></p><p>He throws his head back with a sigh. What’s the point of any of it?</p><p>Jaewon knows what he needs to do. It hurts too much to stay, too much left unfinished. He needs to leave High Class Entertainment and watch it fall to pieces. </p><p>So this is what he feels for loving. This is what he gets for giving. </p><p>He’s tired of paying a price for his own pain.</p><p>Jaewon frowns at the picture on his phone. It’s his arms around them. MAYHEM. What happens to them? Can he bear to watch them destroyed? </p><p>Is he angry enough to not care? No. He’s not angry enough, not as angry as he wishes he was. He’s not angry at all. All of it has burned and left cold ashes that make him tremble. </p><p>He sucks in a breath. He doesn’t know anymore. </p><p>Tears sting his eyes and he smiles for the camera. What else can he even do?</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
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</p><p>Jaewon is half asleep on the couch. When had he gotten back to the dorm?</p><p>Dongho stops, just watching him sleep. Jesus, that’s creepy. But it’s true. Jaewon seems so much more peaceful like this, like everything that seems to worry and plague him in the waking world can’t touch him.</p><p>He swallows hard. He wishes he could take that burden off, but Jaewon is closed up to him. He can’t read him unless they’re sleeping together, and even that is all physical. </p><p>Jaewon grabs onto his hand suddenly. It takes him a moment to realize that he’s not awake.</p><p>“I want to hate you. I really want to hate you. Why can’t I hate you? <em> Why can’t I hate you?” </em></p><p>It sends ice down his spine. And he can see the same reaction in Daehyun’s and Minsoo’s eyes.</p><p>“Why… so why do I still love you instead?” Jaewon’s voice is quiet. “Why do I still love you three no matter how much I lose in the end? Everyone else is telling me to cut my losses but I can’t because I love you. I want to not want to love but I <em> can’t.” </em></p><p>Dongho stops breathing. <em> What? </em></p><p>“You love us?” Daehyun’s voice trembles. And the clearly barely-awake Jaewon giggles.</p><p>“Why do you think I let them blame me, Daehyunah? Didn’ d’ny the thi’gs that weren’ real?” Jaewon’s voice fades into a sleepy slur. Dongho realizes that only now has he fallen asleep.</p><p>And he… he <em> doesn’t know what to think anymore.  </em></p><p>“If I play my cards right, I’ll be free of <em> what, </em>then?” His voice is quiet and he doesn’t know the half-asleep but fully honest Jaewon had heard him.</p><p>“Wyld. M’scandals.”</p><p>“The scandals?” Minsoo stops short. “You mean the scandals aren’t true?”</p><p>“Gay’r th’n a unic’rn,” Jaewon mumbles. “Ceo-n’m took adv’ntge ‘f s’me’ne bl’am’g me f’r s’m’n I d’nt do. S’m’ne accus’d me of touchin’ a girl ‘nd she st’rted yelli’g ‘fore I could ‘xplain. Tha’ p’rv touched me too.”</p><p>
  <em> Dongho needs to breathe- </em>
</p><p>“Took’p modell’ng so there’d be no debt. No debt ‘s no scandals. Can jus’ be yer’ frien’ when Wyld’s gone.” </p><p>He picks Jaewon up and puts him in his bed. He returns to the living room to be met with Minsoo’s mile long stare.</p><p>“The scandals aren’t real. They’re fabricated. They’re <em> fake-“ </em></p><p>“I thought-“ Dongho laughs into his hand, sounding hysterical even to himself. “I thought he’s been working so hard because he wanted to leave-“ Daehyun looks at him, eyes wide.</p><p>“To leave? How…”</p><p>“If Jaewon’s out of debt, then it’s just a termination fee. But if he has leverage like… oh I don’t know, sleeping with us. On a regular basis. In a homophobic country. Let’s just say he’s likely to have a very small fee. Slap on the wrist size, I’d guess,” Dongho feels the words tumble out of his mouth. “And- yeah. That terrified me. But this is something else-“</p><p>“We’ve hurt him. We intended for this to be fun, to get comfortable with him. And out of a mix of curiosity and concern… that I suppose wasn’t necessary,” Minsoo says simply. Daehyun pulls his knees to his chest.</p><p>“How much of that curiosity was attraction, looking back?”</p><p>“All I know… all I know is that I… I feel the same about Jaewon hyung,” Daehyun finally admits. “And I know you guys probably do too.”</p><p>“I-“ Minsoo stops. “You noticed?”</p><p>“That I also like you? Yeah, why?” Daehyun seems almost absentminded, eyes trained on the door to his shared bedroom with Jaewon. “I really wasn’t as subtle as I could have been, to be honest. My bad.”</p><p>Minsoo flushes pink.</p><p>“I figured <em> that </em> out! I meant <em> my </em> feelings for <em> you!” </em></p><p>Daehyun chokes, shocked from his stupor. </p><p>“I mean, I can’t make a joke with ice dildos and have it turn into sex with someone and not fall for them, you get? You literally presented yourself as boyfriend material that instant,” Minsoo explains and Daehyun nods sagely. <em> What the fuck? </em></p><p>“That’s fair. And you were so good too, hyungie, giving me what I wanted-“ Daehyun smirks as Minsoo chokes, gaping at him.</p><p>“Giving?! You pinned me down!”</p><p>“Well you were being a brat,” Daehyun pouts. “What was I supposed to do?” Dongho shakes his head. They’re adorable even now- and now is <em> not the time </em>to be besotted with his bandmates.</p><p>“Don't shake your head when you’re the biggest simp of us all,” Minsoo huffs, crossing his arms across his chest. Dongho <em> chokes. </em>He needs to redirect this conversation.</p><p>“I’m more concerned about Jaewon. Mr. Park-“</p><p>“That <em> bastard!” </em>Minsoo snarls. But Dongho shakes his head.</p><p>“My parents would have done worse. Mr. Park tricked the media. My parents would have whored out a member. I <em> know </em> business and I <em> know </em>this industry. And so do you.”</p><p>The others freeze.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I don’t like him. But I understand why he did what he did… and while I <em> hate </em>it… it’s not the worst thing that he could have done,” Dongho buried his face in his hands. “Why did Jaewon- why did he agree to-“</p><p>“So we should be grateful for his <em> mercy, </em>then?” Minsoo spits the word “mercy” with a terrible venom that had only been reserved for his brother’s name.</p><p>“Honestly? Yes.” Dongho says. “And I hate that we even need to ask that at all.”</p><p>Minsoo shudders.</p><p>“Why… why didn’t he <em> tell </em>us? Why did he let us think he was… he was…” Dongho pulls him to his chest, feeling Minsoo’s familiar weight against his body. Daehyun frowns.</p><p>“If he- if that’s not him… why did he respond to our attempts with- with-“ </p><p>Dongho knows what the question that Daehyun wants to ask is. But he doesn’t know the answer to it.</p><p>He doesn’t even know if he can handle hearing it out loud.</p><p> </p><p>“Well,” Minsoo hyung says firmly. “We set rules. And I intend to follow them. We need to end this… whatever it is, with Jaewon. We’re hurting him and I don’t want that.” Daehyn feels the horror of another sudden realization. Jaewon hyung must have thought… he must have thought… <em> oh, no- </em></p><p>“Yeah,” he says softly. “If Wyld isn’t real… what did he think we were doing?” They turn to him and stare.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Did he think we were taking advantage of an easy lay? Did- did he think that we wanted to use his body?” Daehyun’s eyes are wide and he probably looks insane but he’s just- he’s just...</p><p>“It’s such a rabbit hole- <em> fuck, </em> it’s such a rabbit hole, but I’m wondering this too, now,” Minsoo hyung buries his head in his hands. Because if that’s why Jaewon yung seduced them, began to return their flirtations… how badly had they messed up? How hurt was he to become the shell that swallowed his face and let them… was Jaewon hyung a <em> virgin </em>that time, had they hurt him badly enough for him to give up his first time in the name of revenge?</p><p>“We need to give him space. We <em> did </em> hurt him,” Dongho hyung says. And the look on his face breaks Daehyun’s heart to see, because he can feel it in his <em> bones </em> that Dongho hyung is hiding his own sadness. He’s burying it out of concern for someone else, out of a guard that he’s held up for so long. Daehyun puts a hand on Dongho hyung’s shoulder and squeezes gently. <em> He’s here. He is here for him.  </em></p><p>Dongho hyung’s ears and neck turn red. And it’s so adorable that it physically hurts.</p><p>“What are we going to do, Minsoo hyung?” Daehyun asks softly</p><p>Minsoo hyung looks surprised for a moment. And then he just shakes his head.</p><p>“I don’t know.”</p><p> </p><p>He looks away, ashamed. They’re not talking about but he <em> knows. </em></p><p>This is all his fault. Isn’t he supposed to be a leader? Isn’t he supposed to be the one who knows what to do and takes care of his members? Isn’t he supposed to be the one to make sure they didn’t get hurt?</p><p>He’s a failure. He’s a complete <em> failure. </em></p><p>He instigated this out of a selfish desire. He pushed for something and didn’t prepare or try to <em> think </em>about how it would hurt someone he cares about.</p><p>He’s so <em> selfish. </em></p><p>Minsoo lies in his bed that night and stares up at the ceiling. Under the covers, his hands are shaking. Failure’s ice-cold grip is on his shoulders where it never <em> truly </em>leaves from. </p><p><em> Minsung wouldn’t have done this. Minsung wouldn’t have hurt someone past the point of return. Minsung would be lovable and Minsoo’s own </em> stupidity <em> makes it exactly clear why he’s not even near as desired.  </em></p><p>
  <em> He shouldn’t have been made the leader. Because Lee Minsoo destroys everything eventually.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He doesn’t deserve to fall in love, and maybe he shouldn’t dare want someone to love him. Because Lee Minsoo is a hurricane, a tornado. Selfishly taking everything into his orbit and throwing it all aside and breaking it.  </em>
</p><p><em> Because Minsoo </em> is <em> in love. He’s been in love with them and he doesn’t even know when it started, or how long it took him to notice. But he hates </em> hates <b> hates </b> <em> how unsurprised he is. </em></p><p>“You’re not asleep,” Dongho says out loud. Minsoo’s eyes widen.</p><p>“Yeah,” Minsoo admits. “I’m not.”</p><p>“There’s something on your mind,” Dongho says. It’s not a question. Minsoo bites his lip.</p><p><em> Isn’t he just </em> pathetic? <em> For daring to feel this way? </em></p><p>“It’s- it’s nothing,” Minsoo lies, internally cursing as his voice betrays him.</p><p>“Don’t lie to me,” Dongho says. “Come here.”</p><p>Minsoo obeys, and sits on Dongho’s bed. Dongho pulls him to his chest.</p><p>He can hear Dongho’s heart beating. </p><p>“I- I just feel like a failure, you know?” Minsoo laughs bitterly into Dongho’s chest. “My brother- he’s always better than me and damn it this time he would have been too. He wouldn’t have ruined relationships so badly and made someone want to run away from their own dream.”</p><p>“You’re not a failure.” Dongho says. “What does your brother have to do with <em> anything?” </em></p><p>And Minsoo tells him. </p><p>“My brother was always better than me. He shines so bright that all that was left for me was his shadow. And the one thing- <em> fuck, </em> the <em> one thing- </em>I had was dance. So when XR showed up with auditions, I went the extra mile. I made a song and choreographed my own dance.”</p><p>“You make music?”</p><p>“Never again.” There’s something hard and sharp in Minsoo’s own voice that cuts even himself. “Because my brother stole it and auditioned to get in. My song, my dance. I couldn’t face the judges and that <em> damn shadow. </em> So I walked out on the audition.”</p><p>“Your brother was jealous,” Dongho murmurs. </p><p>“He had nothing to be jealous <em> of,” </em> Minsoo sneers. “He had my parents’ love in ways I never could, and my existence meant nothing to the world. I only ever was <em> Minsung’s Little Brother. </em> And I <em> know </em>that Minsung wouldn’t have made the same mistake because he’s fucking perfect. The perfect son, the perfect idol. Everything I can never live up to. And when I have to look at my own mistakes it’s so obvious to me that I’ll never match up.” Dongho wraps his arms around him tightly, and holds Minsoo close to his chest. For a moment, neither of them speak. </p><p>Because Minsoo admitted it, and there’s nothing left to say on the matter. Lee Minsoo is a inferior failure and-</p><p>“That’s not true,” Dongho’s voice cuts through the thoughts like no voice ever could. “Listen to me, you’re making mistakes as you go. That doesn’t mean you’re the worst human being alive. And your brother? He can go rot, for all I care. You’re Lee Minsoo, and you’re the one we have as our leader. You’re the one we <em> want </em>as our leader. We don’t want some perfect person we can never hope to be close to. We want you. The you that is so much better than he could ever be because you’re doing so well and you’re still human. You’re our main dancer and our friend. Got it, ‘Soo?”</p><p>The nickname catches him off guard enough to snap him out of his thoughts completely. For Dongho, the moments when he’s cute always do.</p><p>Minsoo cherishes them.</p><p>“Did you just call me a cute nickname?”</p><p>“I’m tired, give me a break,” Dongho mumbles. Minsoo just smiles softly at him.</p><p>“Cute.”</p><p>“Wh- Minsoo!”</p><p>Minsoo smiles softly. He gets like this sometimes, buried under his own thoughts. But this is the first time that somebody has ever supported him when he’d fallen. </p><p>“I’m not gonna get over a inferiority complex in a day,” he admits. “But if you’re there to remind me, I think it would be a little easier.”</p><p>It’s quiet for a moment.</p><p>“Well,” Dongho finally says. “I’m not going anywhere.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p><br/>“G’morning,” Jaewon blearily mumbles, pouring himself a mug of coffee. Minsoo sighs.</p><p>“I’m calling a group meeting. As soon as everyone is here,”</p><p>“I think it’s time we put an end to… our <em> situation, </em> if you’re understanding what I’m saying.” Minsoo’s voice is strong as he speaks. “Especially you, Jaewon. You’re exhausting yourself. And that’s <em> not </em>healthy.”</p><p>Jaewon freezes. This wasn’t what he’d expected at all.</p><p>What kind of game were they trying to play with him, now? Or… were they scared of something?</p><p>He takes a peek at Daehyun’s face, noting the thinly-veiled anxiety. Something is very, very wrong.</p><p>“Alright,” Jaewon agrees coolly. He’s not sure what else to say. “If that’s all, I’ll be going to get ready then-“</p><p>“Ah, hyung! Wait!” Daehyun jumps to his feet. “You’re doing another shooting with that perfume brand, right? I made you lunch!” Daehyun’s nervous expression behind the kind gesture… <em> hurts. </em> Daehyun shouldn’t have to be <em> scared </em> of him.</p><p>Jaewon smiles softly, hating hating <em> hating </em>himself for how fond he is. </p><p>“Thank you, Daehyunah,” Jaewon smiles. He puts on the same face he always does. A placid, calm smile. Warm and empty.</p><p>Did they suspect he's had an ulterior motive? That he’d been doing like Jun had suggested- gathering blackmail?</p><p>Or were they just sick of him, now that they’ve had his body? Now that he’s given everything Wyld- and therefore Jaewon- was good for, he’s like an empty toothpaste tube. Squeezed until it’s lost an entire dimension while they still press for more.</p><p>His head hurts thinking about it.</p><p>Jaewon wants to believe it’s that. That they’d be so cruel to him even while he loves them the way he does. So it can sting and heal and he can move <em> on. </em></p><p>But he knows that’s not it and that’s what hurts even more. </p><p>He’s a mess. The water drips down his shoulders in the shower mocks him, reminding him that he’s just a body. A tool.</p><p>Is this a game to make him beg for it? A precaution because they suspect something? Are they just done with him?</p><p>It doesn’t matter. The tools that aren’t useful are either thrown out or put aside. He can tell what’s going on well enough.</p><p> </p><p>Daehyun watches Jaewon hyung leave, head high and back straight.</p><p>And that’s the last of him that he sees for two straight weeks. Manager Choi explains with a tired sigh that Jaewon hyung has gone and thrown himself into modeling. And Dongho can guess exactly what it means when the paychecks begin to roll in.</p><p>Jaewon hyung is saving up to leave. He’s going to <em> leave </em>them.</p><p>And then, Jaewon hyung’s face is <em> everywhere. </em>Rival companies boasting the same idol’s time and face. Piano advertisements, makeup and shoes, clothing from coats to pyjamas. It’s terrifying. And it’s to the point that even fans are questioning why Jaewon hyung is modeling so much.</p><p>But they had mentioned that Jaewon hyung has a very pretty face. And that they liked him enough to check out MAYHEM. It all looks like a very elaborate media scheme. And can’t Jaewon hyung just be <em> done </em>with those?</p><p>Minsoo hyung is lying on his chest, head against his heart. There’s something so comforting about Minsoo hyung’s weight on his chest. His small body covering what it could, his head on Daehyun’s chest. Daehyun’s arms are around Minsoo hyung, and he’s rubbing small circles on Minsoo hyung’s back. They’re closer, now. And they feel… whatever it means to want to hold someone’s hands and take them places and kiss their cheeks and make them smile instead of cry- whatever synonym or pathway to the word love they feel, they’re not <em> talking </em>about it.</p><p>It hangs in the room like smoke. He can’t breathe without it filling his chest. </p><p>And that’s painful to endure. But when he holds Minsoo hyung to his chest and they’re just… comfortable with each other, he wants to confirm things and just <em> talk </em>about it. But he also doesn’t want anything to ruin this moment.</p><p>For a moment, can’t he just hold Minsoo hyung and pretend the world doesn’t exist?</p><p> </p><hr/><p><br/>“Manager Choi. What’s Jaewon’s schedule?” Minsoo takes no time in approaching him, Dongho by his side. Their manager is caught off-guard. Which is fair. They haven’t said his name very much. In fact, there’s an eerie feeling that Jaewon had never been there at all. But at the same time, his absence weighs heavily and it’s visceral. Why is everything so complicated?</p><p>“He has a shooting for-“</p><p>“Cancel it. Give him two days off.” Minsoo demands. Manager Choi gapes at him.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“He’s going to get sick. And in this climate…” Dongho trails off, finally chipping in, and Manager Choi’s eyes widen. </p><p>“That’s… true. I’ll see what I can do about rearranging his schedule and getting him a two day break. Now, about that song you’ve been producing, we’d like to collaborate with a big company. You’ve got your demo, yes?”</p><p>“Yes,” Dongho says. “Bubblegum pop, as requested. And the dark rock one is done.”</p><p>“We intend to give that song to Marshmell-O, and Blackjack has accepted the dark rock song. The producers at SHC would like to review the bubblegum pop song Mr. Park requested. Mr. Park told me to mention that he’d like you to display prowess in an elegant song now as well, to fit with your mysterious and possibly wealthy background image. And then a collaboration with a well known solo rapper will fit MAYHEM’s. So he wants those songs out as soon as you can get them.” Manager Choi says. “If you get those out early, I’ll probably have a easier time convincing Mr. Park to let his prime money-maker take a break.” Their manager sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “At the rate Mr. Park is signing deals, Jaewon <em> is </em>going to get sick. You do have a point.”</p><p>Dongho is silent as he heads to a production studio. Minsoo has been streaming more often, so he heads to his own scheduled stream. And they’re not talking about how hard Jaewon is working. About the way Dongho’s started covering eyebags and all-nighters with concealer and energy shots that he <em> knows </em>aren’t good for his heart. About the way Daehyun’s smiles are a little more forced.</p><p>Something in them feels like it’s jerking around, lost. Like there is a missing part. </p><p>And he knows what that part is. So before Jaewon runs away forever, he at least has to apologize. To give Jaewon closure. </p><p>Because if Jaewon really is in love with them and wants to leave, it’s going to hurt. And Minsoo feels pain with the very idea. And maybe that’s stupid of him, but they’re all doing some pretty dumb things. And he’s willing to look foolish as long as it means Jaewon is less hurt in the end. Because hasn’t Ahn Jaewon been hurt by and for them enough?</p><p>He boots the screen up.</p><p>“Hi, guys!” Minsoo smiles. The smile feels wrong, but he stubbornly clings to it. </p><p>Failure grips him with icy claws, but he smiles and laughs for the camera. What else is there to do? </p><p>He-</p><p>Minsoo looks over at the picture hanging on the wall. Daehyun had gotten it printed and put it up. It’s the four of them.</p><p>He smiles a little. </p><p>He <em> is </em>doing something. And he’s doing what he can do. Now, more than ever, Minsoo needs to be confident. He’ll face this mistake correctly, and he won’t fail.</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
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</p><p>“You’ll be given a break for two days after the KAHO shoot.” Manager Choi says lightly as he drives Jaewon to the <em> innitfree </em> shooting. Jaewon looks up, concerned.</p><p>“What? Why?”</p><p>“Your members have expressed concern about your health. And for good reason. When was the last time you’ve slept for more than four hours?” </p><p>Jaewon is silent. Because Manager Choi isn’t wrong. He just hadn’t realized that… he hadn’t realized that his members had noticed.</p><p>He wonders if they’d known it was all for them, in the beginning. To get out of debt so he could shed Wyld’s image and just be their friend. To get them out of debt so Wyld would never appear in a scandal that drove them further apart.</p><p>And then he began to question if it was a ticket to freedom. If he could earn enough money to sever his ties with High Class Ent. forever. </p><p>But there’s the moments that make him falter. The moments when his phone buzzes with another text from Daehyun, telling him about his day with far too many exclamation points and asking about his even if Jaewon hadn’t answered that question once. </p><p>Every time Jaewon left him on read, Daehyun still texted like it was routine. Sending well-wishes or cute pictures. </p><p>There are the moments when Minsoo or Dongho leave  a coupon for a free drink with his name on it on the counter, or replace the chipped mug that he’d always drank from. When they leave food wrapped in the fridge with his name on it. When Dongho asks for his opinion on a song carefully, always careful not to disturb him, or Minsoo just texting him memes that he finds funny. And it makes Jaewon <em> ache </em>to know that Minsoo saw something that made him laugh and his response was to share that humor with Jaewon. </p><p>It’s those little things that shouldn’t feel so loving. But they do. And Jaewon doesn’t know how to handle any of it. They’re being friendly, if anything at all. And Jaewon shouldn’t feel love that means anything else. He shouldn’t feel any love at all. </p><p>But he <em> does. </em></p><p>He opens his phone and sends a text to Daehyun. A green bubble in a sea of unanswered grey ones.</p><p>‘Did you know that they were giving me a break?’</p><p>
  <em> ‘They are? I didn’t!! But that’s great hyung!!! ^^Can we visit the cat cafe again?’ </em>
</p><p>It’s followed by another text immediately.</p><p>
  <em> ‘Oh… you probably want to rest on your break^^ make sure to sleep lots, hyungie!!’ </em>
</p><p>Jaewon looks at the texts and can practically feel the wall between them through those words. And he’s the one who put that wall up. But the moments like these make him wish he’d never had.</p><p>But-</p><p>But <em> what? </em> It was a game and he wants to be angry but <em> he played along. He played too.  </em></p><p>Is he getting cold feet because their game has turned into something that he’s scared to address. Because their game made him realize things about himself that… that really aren’t their faults? Is he angry or is he rationalizing his own behavior when he’s the one at fault?</p><p>Jaewon is confused. And he doesn’t know what to do anymore.</p><p>Everyone who looks at their situation from the outside is telling him to just leave. But Jaewon doesn’t know if he even has the heart to. Does he, when he loves them so much and he’s incapable of hating them? If he’s incapable of hating his own love for them?</p><p>The lamp that protected the light is shattered into a million cutting stars but the light inside glows fiercely, burning away anything that tries to douse it.</p><p>Does Jaewon dare pull out that light that feels so fragile and <em> powerful </em>at the same time? Does he dare let that warmth sit in his chest and bloom until it fills him with so much love that it hurts? He’s so cold without them, and he was cold before they brought warmth to him. </p><p>For fleeting warmth, he shouldn’t balance everything. But if everything truly is so fleeting, shouldn’t he hold onto the warmth before it leaves?</p><p>But if he’s singed his hands and he’s still freezing, what does that say about him? </p><p>Ahn Jaewon is a fool. </p><p>But is he willing to be a fool for them?</p><p>The answer oscillates like a heavy pendulum. </p><p>And when it stops swinging, he knows where it has to end. And the uncertainty could drive a man mad.</p><p>Madness is an answer in itself. And it depends on how Jaewon chooses to take that. Is he willing to find that the madness is telling him to be a fool? Or he supposed to know that it’s worthless? The quote his math teacher used to use all the time hangs heavy in his mind.</p><p>
  <em> Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results.  </em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
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</p><p>Jaewon steps into the dorm, and at the sight of the picture on their wall, freezes.</p><p>“You guys still have pictures of that night?”</p><p>It’s them, looking up at the stars.</p><p>“Yeah. Of course we do,” Daehyun laughs. There’s something nervous in his smile. “Can… can we talk, hyung?”</p><p>He turns around and only then does he realize that the others are watching him.</p><p>Is this the part when they tell him they’d fallen in love with each other? That they’re down to take him into their bed but that it won’t mean the same thing? Is this the part when they tell him that they hate him and want him gone? Or that the reveal that it was all a game?</p><p>Or are they going to be so <em> cruel </em>about it, and dance over the subject like it didn’t exist to them? Like it didn’t mean anything to them?</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>He braces himself for any of those things.</p><p>“You were not a game, and we didn’t intend to sleep with you as some sort of… easy lay. We were kind of more concerned about the shade of cobalt your balls were turning.”</p><p>Jaewon chokes. What?</p><p>“W- what?”</p><p>“And it’s possible that we’re dumbfucks and didn’t realize that we’re attracted to you,” Minsoo continues. </p><p>“What?”</p><p>“What I’m saying is this-“ Minsoo takes Jaewon’s hands in his own and looks him in the eye seriously- “we’re sorry that we hurt you. It was never our intention.”</p><p>There’s a lump in his throat and Jaewon almost can’t breathe. </p><p>“And what was your intention, then?”</p><p>“Well, it started out as concern. We’d thought that a sexually active person had gone cold turkey-“ Jaewon’s eyes widen. <em> Wyld. It’s because of his reputation as Wyld and they’d thought- </em></p><p>“Why did you think that?”</p><p>“None of us had… <em> heard </em> you, hyung,” Daehyun looks away shyly. Jaewon fights the urge to coo because that’s honestly adorable. “And we were all kind of curious why we didn’t… probably because we think you’re really hot.”</p><p>“It’s my fault,” Minsoo says. “I suggested we try to turn you on, partially so we could hear and partially just because… ouch.”</p><p>That startles a wet sort of half-laugh from Jaewon. That is something Minsoo would do. </p><p>“But while it was something like a competition, we were competing for your attention more than anything.” Dongho’s eyes are solemn. “And from the very beginning we said that we’d stop everything that moment of any of us realize that you’re hurt. I’m sorry it took us so long.”</p><p>He doesn’t realize he’s crying until Daehyun reaches over to wipe the tears from his cheek. </p><p>“The truth is that somewhere along the way we kind of… we kind of realized that we’re in love with you. And each other.” Minsoo says seriously. “But we also know that you want to leave HCE. And we don’t want to stop you.”</p><p>They knew that he’s been considering it? They <em> knew?  </em></p><p>“More like we want to stop you, but we want you to be happy more,” Dongho says. Jaewon’s eyes widen.</p><p>“You know, Wyld is still going to be tied to your names,” Jaewon finally says. That’s why they’re okay with it, right? Is this confession accompanied by them finally facing the ever-present elephant in the room? Them saying that they’re tired of his scandals? </p><p>He wants that to be it. He wants this to be a cold discussion between roommates and coworkers. And yet he knows that’s so far from what the truth is. But he doesn’t know what that truth <em> is. </em></p><p>“We would have believed you, you know.” Daehyun says, a bitter smile on his face. “We would have believed you if you’d have just told us that Wyld was fake.”</p><p>Oh. They know. They’ve figured it out. Then the day they stopped…</p><p>It hadn’t been a dream. Telling them the words that sat beneath his lips hadn’t been a dream-</p><p>He has no choice but to tell his truth. And it’s oddly freeing to admit it.</p><p>“I didn’t want to hurt you,” Jaewon admits.</p><p>“And what about you?” Dongho looks at him gravely. “What about you, who was hurt and had nobody to lean on?”</p><p>The tears trail down his cheek faster. They really-</p><p>Minsoo wraps him in a hug.</p><p>“We’re here now. Can we ask you for one more chance?”</p><p>Jaewon doesn’t even need to think. </p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>
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</p><p>They sit there in that odd cuddle pile for a moment before Daehyun laughs.</p><p>“You know,” Daehyun says lightly. “I was heavily convinced that Minsoo hyung would have a tentacle kink. Or that he’d send you naked anime girls or hentai links.”</p><p>“He… did? I think?” Jaewon flushes. “I asked if it was the wrong number… one of those had a vine… thing… I ended up asking him in person and Minsoo hyung just asked if I wanted to play games with him… I said porn games weren’t my thing?”</p><p>Daehyun cackles. But then Jaewon pauses.</p><p>“I’m not a furry. What was with the cat ears?”</p><p>“One of the girls from the scandals had these giant pink cat ears on… I was a little concerned? To be honest?”</p><p>“You’re the softest thing ever… how do you know if the cursed world of furries,” Minsoo looks horrified. And Jaewon snorts.</p><p>“I’m gay, hyung. What did you expect?”</p><p>Dongho roars with laughter. Minsoo joins him. </p><p>It’s nice.</p><p>“Did you guys… talk about being in love with each other?” Jaewon asks carefully.</p><p>“Not as much as we should have,” Daehyun admits. “We wanted to talk to you, too.”</p><p>Jaewon’s eyes blow wide, and Daehyun laughs, running a thumb over his cheek.</p><p>“You’re so pretty, hyung. It’s not fair.”</p><p>“Daehyunah,” Jaewon laughs nervously. “That’s bad for my heart.”</p><p>“Your blood flow certainly is shifting,” Minsoo snickers from Jaewon’s lap. “Do you wanna take care of it or can we stay like this?”</p><p>“Can we just… ignore it for now?”</p><p>“I’d like that,” Dongho says. “But your poor dick is going to get crushed under the weight of Minsoo’s body and Daehyun’s head.”</p><p>“Worth it,” Jaewon laughs. “I don’t want to go anywhere.”</p><p>“Your dick is so pretty, though,” Daehyun sits up. “As a part of you it’s absolutely gorgeous and therefore is to be worshipped and protected.”</p><p>Minsoo squeaks.</p><p>“D- Daehyun! I’m on his <em> lap! Be careful!” </em></p><p>“Wait… do you like that, Jaewon?” Dongho asks carefully. Jaewon swallows hard and nods. </p><p>“Then… is there something you want?” Minsoo asks carefully. </p><p>Jaewon squirms for a minute.</p><p>“It feels like it's the wrong time to ask. But when you’re all like this… gosh I’m such a mess,” Jaewon whines into his hands. Dongho ruffles his hair.</p><p>“Can I kiss you?”</p><p>“Yes,” Jaewon beams. “Please!”</p><p>Dongho plants a light kiss on Jaewon’s cheek. Jaewon’s giggles make him smile widely enough that it makes him laugh even harder. </p><p>“Cute,” Minsoo coos. Jaewon flushes again, hands gripping into Minsoo’s thighs. </p><p>Minsoo gasps, and Daehyun wraps his arm around Minsoo’s waist, trying to pull him off.</p><p>Bad idea.</p><p>Minsoo looks away, cheeks pink. And that’s two out of four of them rock-hard.</p><p>Dongho laughs. </p><p>This is so them that it <em> hurts. </em></p><p> </p><hr/><p>
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</p><p>“Hey... hyung?” Daehyun climbs onto Jaewon hyung’s sleeping form. Jaewon hyung tilts his head, turning to face him with a soft smile that melts his heart.</p><p>“Good morning Daehyunah,” he murmurs, voice still raspy with sleep. Daehyun smiles nervously. “How are you?”</p><p>“Can we maybe… play with a cat from that cafe again?”</p><p>“Let’s!” Jaewon hyung laughs. “Can Minsoo and Dongho come too?”</p><p>“Come where?” Minsoo hyung’s voice comes from the doorway. Daehyun turns his head to face him. </p><p>“To see a cat from the shelter slash cat cafe!”</p><p>“The one where you took pictures with that cute black cat… named Seoye, right?” Dongho hyung leans on the doorframe. Jaewon hyung beams. </p><p>“Yes! Do you like cats?”</p><p>“Yes,” Dongho hyung smiles. He smiled! It’s so cute that it physically hurts. </p><p>Minsoo hyung giggles.</p><p>“Did I say that out loud?” Daehyun flushes. Jaewon hyung grins at him.</p><p>“Yep.”</p><p>“It’s okay, it’s not like it’s not true,” Daehyun decides cheerfully. “Should I call and ask if they can schedule a meeting with Seoye if she’s still there?” </p><p>“Let’s!” Jaewon hyung sits up. “How about it?”</p><p>“I’m in,” Minsoo hyung grins.</p><p>“You don’t like cats,” Dongho hyung frowns. “Why…”</p><p>“Yeah, but I like you,” Minsoo hyung laughs. “I like to see you happy.”</p><p>“I- oh…” Dongho hyung flushes a cherry blossom pink. It’s adorable! </p><p>Daehyun calls them up to discover that Seoye has become incredibly popular, and it was difficult to schedule a meeting with her.</p><p>But if they came to the park in ten minutes, they could see her for a bit. Which made the others go into a flurry of preparations. </p><p>It took them eight minutes to get to the park, and two more to find Chungae. </p><p>“Hi guys! It’s so great to see you!” Chungae-ssi waves. Jaewon hyung is turned into little Seoye’s climbing perch the second he gets close enough.</p><p>“Hi Chungae-ssi! How are the cats?”</p><p>“Four have been adopted since your Instagram posts! Thank you so much!” She beams. Jaewon hyung reaches up to scratch the spot between Seoye’s ears.</p><p>“Thank you for taking care of all of them,” Jaewon hyung says. </p><p>“He’s so cute and for what?” Minsoo hyung whispers. Daehyun laughs.</p><p>“That’s just how Jaewon hyung is.”</p><p>Dongho hyung soon joins Jaewon hyung in playing with the kitten. Daehyun doesn’t think that they’re noticing the cute way their eyes are curling into little half-moons that make Daehyun want to kiss their cheeks and never let them go.</p><p>“I had a cat before we moved into a dorm,” Dongho hyung says when he realizes that Daehyun is staring. “His name is Boba.”</p><p>“You’re so cute with cats,” Daehyun murmurs. “It’s not <em> fair, </em>you can’t be hot and cute!”</p><p>“Watch me,” Dongho hyung teases. </p><p>Daehyun buries his face in his hands, but he’s smiling.</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
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</p><p>They’re called in for a meeting. Their comeback is back on, finally.</p><p>Which is exhausting as all hell, to be honest, as he needs to hide freshly dyed hair in a beanie. </p><p>He’s not sure if the fact that Mayniacs didn’t notice it irritates or amuses him. Nevertheless, their hell-schedule is worth it.</p><p>Because Jaewon comes in with a grin, three weeks into comeback preparations, with the best news Minsoo could have asked for.</p><p>“CEO Park said I never need to get in a scandal again!”</p><p>“Scandals are more of hindrance at this point-“ Dongho starts but Minsoo just puts a palm over his mouth and shakes his head. Let good news be good news.</p><p>“That’s great, Jaewon hyung!” Daehyun grins widely. Jaewon curls into their maknae’s lap with a soft smile.</p><p>“We should celebrate,” Jaewon hyung murmurs softly. </p><p>“How do you want to celebrate, hyung?” Daehyun asks carefully. </p><p>“I want to do something to celebrate… after we finish promotions,” Jaewon decides. There’s a sly grin on his face that makes Minsoo smile back. </p><p>The announcement has already been made, but the first teaser photo is tomorrow. Their comeback is so soon that Minsoo can <em> taste </em>it.</p><p>The increase of followers and media attention, the increasing numbers of streams on their songs… Minsoo thinks that they… actually have a chance this time around. </p><p>It’s a budding, fragile hope that he’s afraid of growing into a expectation that could be shattered by their own possible mediocrity-</p><p>Stop.</p><p>
  <em> Stop. </em>
</p><p>This time, they’re going to do well. Minsoo is sure of it. <em> Be the Change </em>is going to be the comeback that makes MAYHEM into something huge.</p><p>He holds on to that determination tightly, refusing to let go of it.</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
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</p><p>Promotions run into four weeks. And there’s a reason for that too.</p><p>Their song is <em> soaring </em> on the charts. How did this even happen? Jaewon sometimes thinks he needs to pinch himself when he wakes up beside his boyfriends <em> (boyfriends!!) </em> and goes to perform their song that’s actually <em> doing well. </em></p><p>How had things turned out this way? Jaewon doesn’t particularly think that he minds it at all. He likes it a lot, if he’s being fully honest. </p><p>That’s besides the point, though. </p><p>He looks carefully at the things he has in his drawers. There’s something he’s wanted to bring up. Mostly because he wants to do something he’s been thinking of fo a long time.</p><p>Is it too soon? Will it make things tense?</p><p>If he’s being honest, these thoughts scare him. </p><p>But he also knows what he wants. And he wants them.</p><p>Jaewon wants to make love to his members. And while that has the possibility to devolve quickly… he’d like for them to touch him and be pleasured by and with him. He’d like it quite a lot. </p><p>In his drawer sits lingerie. And for now, he’ll close it and wait. He wants them to all be ready. He runs a finger over the white lace.</p><p>
  <em> Soon. </em>
</p><p>“We have an interview today,” Daehyun chirps as Jaewon gets into the car. “Can I be extra cute?”</p><p>“You’re always extra cute,” Dongho laughs. Daehyun smirks.</p><p>“Except when I’m not.”</p><p>“Yah! Dae!” Minsoo snickers. “Don’t be horny in front of our poor driver.”</p><p>“Who said I was being horny, hyung? If anything, that would be <em> you.” </em></p><p>“This brat!” Minsoo’s shout is punctuated by Dongho and Daehyun’s roaring laughter.</p><p>
  <em> Soon. </em>
</p><p>He dances, smiles and laughs.</p><p>“So… has any fan caught your eye during promotions?”</p><p>“All of our Mayniacs are beautiful,” Jaewon says politely. He knows exactly what the host is asking. Dongho shoots the host a look and the topic is mercifully dropped.</p><p>Jaewon’s heart is heavy, though. Because that’s never going to leave, is it?</p><p>Minsoo puts a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it tightly.</p><p>He has the people he loves, and his reputation is muddy no matter what. He’s going to just be happy with the way things are.</p><p>Jaewon’s eyes linger on Minsoo’s hands. He does want to be happy. And he wants them to be happy, too.</p><p><em>Soon.</em> <em>He’ll ask them soon.</em></p><p> </p><hr/><p><br/>“Can I ask you guys something… if that’s okay?” Jaewon broaches the question shyly as they begin a three day break before preparing for their next comeback. “It’s um… not a huge… deal...? I was just wondering….”</p><p>Jaewon is shy when asking for what he wants. Dongho recognizes this by now. Of course Dongho is willing to make him happy. More than just willing.</p><p>“We can answer your question, Jaewon.” Dongho laughs. Jaewon beams and rushes from the room.</p><p>After a moment, he runs back into the room.</p><p>“Can you wait here a moment, please?”</p><p>“Yeah… sure, hyung?” Daehyun looks oddly confused as well. Good, he’s not the only one, then.</p><p>Minsoo and Daehyun sit awkwardly beside him on the couch. What’s Jaewon doing?</p><p>“Does this have to do with him wanting to celebrate not having to do any more scandals?” Minsoo’s brow furrows. “Maybe it’s a cake?”</p><p>“Breaking our diets! How scandalous!” Daehyun giggles. </p><p>“Well,” Jaewon’s voice grabs their attention as he steps into the room. “I suppose I was definitely going to ask for something… that would fall under the label of scandalous.”</p><p>“H… hyung- <em> hyung,” </em>Daehyun’s eyes widen. And it’s obvious why.</p><p>Dongho, himself. is rendered speechless. For, you see, adorning Jaewon’s body is lingerie in a glowing pure-white lace, standing out brightly against his creamy skin. It wraps around his tiny waist and muscular thighs. Dongho’s eyes trail up the smooth, unmarked skin that practically begs him to take a bite. </p><p>Dongho’s not sure if he’s staring at heaven or sin.</p><p>“I wanted to wait after because the way I wanted to celebrate was…” Jaewon looks away, a rosy blush forming on his cheeks. Is he getting shy? That’s absolutely adorable. “I was hoping you’d be willing to m- make love to me… I want you and I...” Jaewon trails off, looking a little more unsure. Minsoo’s hand is trembling in a effort to be patient. Which is fair. Dongho isn’t doing too well holding himself back from the sight before him. But they need Jaewon to be comfortable more than anything.</p><p>Speaking of Jaewon, his cheeks are a deep red now as he rambles nervously. Dongho gets to his feet and takes Jaewon’s hands in his, squeezing them to reassure him. </p><p>“I’m more than willing, I want to. But are you sure?”</p><p>“I want you to go so hard I can’t walk in the morning,” Jaewon breathes. “All three of you.”</p><p>“Then let us get ready for you, okay sweetheart?” Dongho leans down to press a kiss on Jaewon’s forehead. “We can do that for you. Would you mind waiting for us on your bed?”</p><p>Jaewon shakes his head. </p><p>“Not at all!”</p><p>Minsoo swallows hard as soon as Jaewon leaves the room.</p><p>“Fuck- he’s so sexy. And he does it with the <em> softest </em>smile. That should be illegal.”</p><p>“Well, you, of all people, are certainly not <em> soft </em> at the moment <em> , </em>hyung,” Daehyun says wryly. Minsoo chokes.</p><p>“I mean… you are not wrong, per se… yeah I’m definitely hard,” he manages. </p><p>“Come on, let’s go wash up,” Dongho shakes his head, pushing them towards the bathroom. They’re all disasters and he shouldn’t be as amused by this as he is. He probably only finds it funny because it’s them. “Jaewon took all the time to get ready for us, I think we should reward him, yes?”</p><p>“Tonight is for him and he was so careful to include us,” Minsoo agrees with a smirk. Daehyun beams at them as he turns the shower on.</p><p> </p><p>Daehyun returns to be blessed with the sight of Jaewon hyung toying with the strap of the garter he’s wearing. It’s both adorable and sexy as hell.</p><p>“Hey, hyung,” Daehyun whispers. “Can I go first?”</p><p>Jaewon hyung looks at Dongho hyung and Minsoo hyung for a moment, before nodding with a smile. Daehyun grins, running a finger across Jaewon hyung’s stomach, reveling in the rising goosebumps. </p><p>And then he pounces, slicking up his fingers and pressing them inside. Jaewon hyung throws his head back, a breathy gasp breaking past his lips. Minsoo hyung holds Jaewon hyung’s cheeks and kisses him, swallowing Jaewon hyung’s moans like water. </p><p>“I’m all ready for you, do you want me to use a condom?”</p><p>“N- no,” Jaewon hyung murmurs. “I wanna feel you.”</p><p>Daehyun slides in and for all that he’s prepared Jaewon hyung, he’s still so tight, gripping onto him.He bends over, whispering genty in Jaewon hyung’s ear gently.</p><p>“Can I move, hyung?”</p><p>“P- please!” Jaewon hyung gasps. Dongho hyung and Minsoo hyung join in, littering kisses and bites up his body, painting a night sky filled with constellations that all make the same picture: love. Dongho hyung takes Jaewon hyung after he does, and makes him cry out with the sweetest, most beautiful moans. They’re musical to his ears. Minsoo hyung presses Jaewon hyung to the sheets and whispers so many things in Jaewon hyung’s ears and they all make him flush. The things he’s saying are far too sweet and it makes Daehyun’s heart swell to watch.</p><p>
  <em> “You’re so beautiful, like this. You know that we love seeing you happy and smiling. Oh, do you like it when I touch you here? I’ll do that for you.” </em>
</p><p>And he’s a weak, weak man, to see the tears trailing down Jaewon hyung’s face and the smile he makes as he spreads his legs and beckons them, inviting them all to take him. They stay like that, messy and dirty and devouring each other because they love each other. Jaewon hyung holds them even as they get tougher, a little more animalistic. He holds them and kisses them back and never lets go of them. </p><p>And when they finish, lying in the afterglow of each other, Jaewon hyung is curled on top of Dongho hyung. None of them move. </p><p>They’re absolutely messy, probably gross. Hell, they might regret not cleaning up when morning comes. But they don’t want to leave each other right then.</p><p>“I love you,” Daehyun whispers softly. Jaewon hyung turns to face him and smiles with sleepy eyes. He runs a hand that’s glistening with sweat and what might be- probably is- Minsoo hyung’s cum and puts it on Daehyun’s own.</p><p>“I love you. All of you. So, so much.”</p><p>Dongho hyung’s arm, wrapped tightly around all of them, pulls them all closer.</p><p>Minsoo hyung would contribute to the moment, but whenever he says is muffled by Daehyun’s chest. Daehyun doesn’t intend to let go of him anyway. He’s so happy right now that he could burst.</p><p> </p><p>They wake up the next morning a complete and utter mess. And Jaewon is a beautiful reminder of last night. But he’s also out cold. Which is fair, considering that they’d milked him dry. But he’d looked so happy afterwards that they didn’t want to leave. And Minsoo doesn’t intend to wake him up yet. Instead, he carefully removes the torn and cum-stained lingerie from Jaewon and carefully takes him into their bathroom. He’s so conked out that he doesn’t even wake up after Minsoo nearly drops him and has to get Daehyun’s help. </p><p>They wash him carefully, making sure to use warm water. </p><p>Minsoo is a sappy mess. Not that he minds.</p><p>He presses a kiss where Dongho had left a hickey last night. Dongho already has the sheets changed and fresh clothes laid out to help put Jaewon back in bed.</p><p>And Jaewon’s still asleep by the time they’re all cleaned up. Daehyun loads the laundry into the dryer, and they return to cuddling Jaewon. Easily the best thing ever.</p><p>He knows that Jaewon is going to ramble when trying to say that they didn’t need to do this for him. It’s adorable when he does. And Minsoo can’t wait to see it.</p><p>They’d made sure to leave the marks where nobody could see them. That should work, right?</p><p>It’s not like Jaewon’s shirt will ride up in any way. So he takes a picture of them. They’re so, so precious to him.</p><p>The fact that their first time saying “I love you” was like this doesn’t even surprise him. In fact, he finds it hilarious.</p><p>They’re a mess and he loves it. He really does. Minsoo doesn’t think he’d trade his boys for the world.</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
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</p><p>Jaewon wakes up surrounded by his boyfriends. He realizes that someone had cleaned them all up. The low hum of the dryer in the background feels incredibly domestic. They’re <em> home. </em> </p><p>Something tells him it was a collaborative effort. It’s probably their wet hair. But he’d like to pretend that it’s boyfriend’s intuition or something cute like that.</p><p>He tries to move, but a twinge of pain in his lower back makes him flop awkwardly onto Dongho’s chest. If he’s being honest, he never expected things to end quite this way.</p><p>It’s not that he minds, in all honesty. </p><p>He loves them. He loves them so much that it sends a giddy rush through his veins. Jaewon nuzzles into the collective embrace of Dongho, Minsoo, and Daehyun. He closes his eyes and rests in their arms. The mellow drumbeat mixed with guitar and electric piano plays from his alarm. Jaewon hits the snooze button.</p><p>He’s not going anywhere anytime soon.</p>
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